blast from the past.......foot in mouth

Quote of the week.
“That’s my wife”
One of the Hurricane doormen.

I’ll explain that one as we go along. I planned on updating around Friday or Saturday, but my dumb ass decided to clean up the website and in doing so, I deleted some code on my template. Thus I was not able to send anything out or make any changes until I got it fixed.

It’s a constant amusement/irritation to Cassie and Michelle whenever I try to pretend I’m computer savvy and go into the system and try to do things, cause I usually tend to fuck things up. Anyway, I got hold of a cat named Phil from Blogger.com and he found my error and got me back up and running again. He gets a Zagnut bar and a big salute for all his efforts.

By the way I’m listening to the late 80’s Go Go band EU from Washington, DC. They did the tune Buck Wild along with Shake Your Thang featuring Salt and Pepper. Shit still sound good even after all this time. That’s when you know a tune’s gonna hold the test of time, when it still sounds viable and not dated after years in the system.

But enough of that shit, you muthafucker’s gots to hear about me sticking my foot in mouth Friday night at the Cane. I’m sitting at the bar talking my ass off which I can only blame on the warm sunny weather we’re having plus maybe the whole stinkin pot of Hurricane coffee I finished off earlier. Cassie is on one side of me whilst Michele is on the other side. Mito’s pulling time behind the bar and I’m on my second or third cold frosty beverage.

The bar is just finishing up a doormen meeting and the bar is full of Hurricane doormen milling around either getting ready for work later that night or settling in with a drink. My spider sense gets to tingling and I turn around to take a look and what I see going into the women’s bathroom is one of the finest asses to come down the pike in a long while. It was like if Jesus came back as a rock chick, he’s be sporting a rump shaker ass like that. But without thinking I spoke in my loud voice,

“muthafuckin god, did anyone else see that ass”!?

And it rung thru the bar with the clarity of a bell cause the whole room suddenly went silent, I hear someone say

“that’s my wife”
Me, “what”?
Him, “that was my wife”

It was one of the doormen speaking from the other side of the bar. All I could do was sit there and taste my rather large foot in my mouth as Cassie and Michelle broke up around me. I felt so small, cause you muthafucker’s know I’m not even about doing shit like that.

It’s just that the ass came up on me so sudden like and without warning I was caught off guard and instead of using my inner monologue, I pulled a Homer Simpson and spoke aloud. But I was a man about it, I went to the side with the chick’s husband and apologized, and when she came out of the bathroom I did the same with her. I’m glad I can be such a source of constant amusement to my friends.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"