small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: blast from the past......atomic dog

Thursday, May 11

blast from the past......atomic dog

I can’t help but notice that the international fight over eating dog is picking up speed. Now I see that they’ve even out’ed the Swiss as being puppy noshers. I think that if I were a dog living overseas instead of licking my balls I’d start earning favor by licking my master’s balls instead. I can’t wait for Chef Emeril Lagasse to feature dog on his show, or better yet old ass Martha Steward.

Did you know Sioux Indians use dog meat, actually puppy meat, in some of their most sacred ceremonies? Dog, not only Man’s best friend and a food source but culturally useful. That reminds me, I think I’ll see if an old buddy of mine has the movie “A boy and his dog” in his collection. Some of you older cats might remember this one. It was made in 1975 and starred Don “Miami Vice” Johnson.

He lived in a war torn post-holocaust wasteland and traveled around with this super smart telepathic dog. The climax of the movie came when Don Johnson found himself a woman and they were starving and wondering what to do for food. The scene faded with Don and the women looking at the dog. The next scene showed Don and the dog sitting around the campfire picking their teeth and the women gone.

I was reading on the internets the other day that South Korea is taking a unified stand against the capitalist imperial pigs of America. They’re telling PETA and every other round eye muthafucker in sight that eating dog is a national pastime and so good for ya!

Korea's been getting all kinds of bad press over this issue and they've had enough of our shit. Korea’s been eating dog and the occasional stray cat for centuries but there’s also South Korean’s who cherish and love the little furry sacks of meat more then their own kids. What a nation in turmoil.

Word on the street has it that Korean folk eat dog for the sexual vigor that comes after a heaping bowl of poochie chowder, plus it also heals what ails ya. But there are also Korean people who love dogs so much that they won’t take a job unless they can bring little Sparkie along for the day.

And now there are special restaurants that cater to the dog lover crowd, I mean as in Ole Yeller can sit at the bar and lap up the Evian out of his own bowl. And there are still restaurants where a cool Korean cat after polishing off a bowl of spicy crimson soup made of stewed canine, red pepper and sesame leaves can light up a smoke and burp up Fido to his or her hearts content.

All I’m sayin is that what right do we have to dictate what’s right or wrong for other people in other countries to eat or not? Hell we enjoy sushi, tartar (raw ground beef with spices), and escargot. Cow brains and pig knuckles and headcheese and all other kinds of shit I can’t think of.

And just the other day I had dinner over my Mother’s house and I watched her and my aunts gleefully knock back plates of ox tails and barbequed pigs feet. The world has enough division without America getting into somebody’s business about what they eat. Give a muthafucker a break why don’t we.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Assrot said...

I'd go along with Don Johnson. Eat the woman and keep the dog. Dogs are much less trouble than women to keep around.

7:25 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

The part I don't get is why it's okay to eat some animals but not okay to eat others. People freak out over someone eating a dog.. what's the difference between a dog and a cow? Seriously. There's no difference.. someone still has to die over it. So I think that people who eat meat yet make a stink over what someone else considers meat.. are basically just a bunch of hypocrites.
And I'm still waitin on that email from you.

9:07 PM  
Blogger Nightmare said...

I remember that flick! I was all standing and hollering!! YEAH!! Eat that bitch!! A good dog is hard to come by.

If god didn't want us to eat animals, then why did he make them outta meat?

7:46 AM  

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