It’s a slow day so I thought I’d post some shit from my old webpage over on SeasonToRisk.com

ACCIDENTAL TERRORIST
So there I am, walking to the bus stop. It’s around six thirty in the morning and the birds are chirping and the bees are buzzing and I can still smell the scent of fresh cut grass from last night in the air. I’d figure to make it to work early cause I had things to do, you know? Well, I’m just bumpin along and not really payin attention to anything when I decide to cross the street. Normally I stay aware of my surroundings but this morning I was real unfocused and not really lookin at anything. As I’m crossing the street I look up in time to see this little girl in my path. She’s small and thin, all bony knees and elbows and maybe ten years old. On her back sits a bright pink backpack and she’s clutching a Power Puff Girls lunch box. “She’s up early for school I thought”. As I get closer she must’a been in a fog also, cause just then did she look up and see me coming. Her little body tensed up and she reminded me of a deer caught in the headlights. Except that deer’s don’t squeal. That little girl let out the oddest squeal and took off running. I looked around to see what was scaring her when I realized it was me. She was running for her life from me! I felt like crap. I wanted to catch her and tell her I was one of the good guys, but that would’a looked stupid. She ran for about a block then she stopped. Stopped right in front of my bus stop. Damn my bad luck. Not only did I scare a little girl into puberty, but she ran to the only bus stop for three blocks to take refuge. It goes without sayin that I took a different bus this morning. I hope I didn’t leave a lasting impression on her. Peace

5/14/1
SHIT YOUR MEAL NO MORE
Everything sucks. The mainstay of many a late night post party hangover which was White Castle has split Cowtown. That savory belly bomb of flat square beef tenderly steamed over a stinking bed of onions is gone for another forty years. Nothing said the end of a first-rate Saturday night better then hittin the drive thru of the midtown White Castle and pinchin a big ole greasy bag of belly bombs, then heading home and hittin the couch in the wee hours of the morning. You end up hating yourself the next morning as you try to crap out that pound or two of greasy goodness, which by then has mixed with whatever you choked down at the bar that night and congealed into a rock hard mass. I always told myself I’d never do that again, but next Saturday night after I left the bar there I was. Nothin says responsible adulthood like being slumped on the couch on a Sunday morning with a whiskey hangover and a belly full of partly digested White Castle Burgers and a can of Dr. Pepper hanging from your fingers. My cheeks puff out just thinking about it. But better White Castle then some of the other places I’ve chowed down at. Nothin says love better then the microwave cheese chili dogs from QuikTrip. I actually fell in love at a White Castle. I was working the LoneStar one night and at closing a couple of doormen came up to me carrying this seriously drunk little girl. They gave her to me and asked me if I could get her home safely. “Its part of the price you pay for being so upright, you know”. Anyway I’m taking her home and she asks me to drive by the White Castle. I get her a couple of burgers thinkin that they might sober her up, and off we go. Did I say how cute she was? To make a long story short, I got her home safely. Nothin happened except that she left the better part of the burgers all over the side of my truck! (that’s why you always keep the window down). We’ve been close friends ever since and I will always have huge love for her. (except for the throwin up part). Peace

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE PAPER READING
It’s so odd the silly ass habits we achieve as we get older. One of my oddest habits involves the newspaper. I read the newspaper’s on a daily basis, that’s seven day’s a week without fail. I can’t eat lunch if there’s not a paper in front of me. But that’s not the thing; the thing is that I have to have a “fresh paper’. None of this reading the news off the Internet, and no barrowed or used paper, nothing like that, I gots to have a “fresh, unused, clean, “paper” newspaper. In my head it’s no fun reading the paper if I gotta go after someone else. It’s like sloppy seconds you know, it just leaves me with a wrong feeling. Sunday’s is even worse; I’ll buy a fresh paper then pull out three sections and throw the rest away. Trust me, QuikTrip frowns on a cat walking up to the counter with only part of the Sunday paper. “Sir, you have to take the whole thing”. (Picky bastards.) Also I have a problem with people that never read the comics. I just think people that never read the comics must be missing something in their lives. The comics give me something to look forward too after all the bad news my head can take.

SEX(UAL IDENTITY), DRUGS, AND ROCK AN ROLL
Best quote of the week: “Pornography perverts the gift of sex”
Personal quote from Billy Graham.
Billy Graham says that sex is a gift from God and that Porn distorts his gift. Might be just me but I think that God has more on his plate then how we hump each other or if we watch people humpin on the TV. I’d rather think that God’s sitting behind his desk busting one of the Holy Cherub’s chops, “how come nobody told me Michael Stipe was gay”? “How come I gotta find out from USA Today”? Hell he could’a asked me, it don’t take too much of a reach to picture Stipe on all fours lookin over his shoulder. I guess I’m just bitter. I used to dig REM until they pulled a Sting and wanted to save the world. At what point does the media look to musicians as being so wise and worthy of a serious quote? I’m the first to applaud the fact that everyone has an opinion and they have the right to voice it. But I get bent out of shape whenever some musician or actor calls a press conference to voice their thoughts on the worlds issues, and after they voice it I’m sittin on my couch going, ”what the fuck just happened”? “Mr. Famous Musician! Can you address the hunger issue in Ethiopia”? (In fake British accent) “Well, I see all these people sittin around in the dirt you know, I’m so sure that if they started growin food and build a few shopping centers that their problems would just go away”. “Rock and Roll! Yeah”. Ignorant muthafucker, just because you sell millions of records and got more money then a third world country, don’t make you in the know. I’m all over musicians savin the world and reaching out. I just don’t want Ozzy walkin out of a Holiday Inn Express wantin to do open heart surgery on me. Peace