So Thursday was kind’a odd here in the office. Our new boss Mike Brown, the Undersecretary for The Department Of Homeland Security, came by for a visit. We all got to meet him and ask our questions, I always love that part, as if our questions mean a shit to these guys. “Yes, I’m very sincere when I say that each and every one of you matters, even you, the big black muthafucker sitting in the back”. What the fuck ever. And I gotta tell ya, you hear the stories about the ass kissing, and you’ve joked about the ass kissing, but until you see a master ass-kisser in action you don’t know what real ass kissing is. I ain’t telling no names, but this one cat practically had his hand down the Undersecretary’s pants doin the Job. It made for a great OH-MY-GOD moment. I even asked my question, cause around here in the office I’ve developed a great rep over the years for asking questions that everyone’s thinking of, but too chicken shit to bring up. So I asked him could he cover all bases wearin two different hats, him being the Undersecretary for Homeland Security and the FEMA Director and all that. He gave me some off the cuff answer about it being a “team” thing and as long as the “team” works together, everything will be fine. Spoken like a true politico. Whilst all this was going on I was sitting next to Melissa, my uber hot Hispanic co-worker, whose shit list I was on by the way. We were in the main conference room earlier getting things together along with another woman, when I went flatline and called Melissa by another women’s name. Both women stopped what they were doing and gave me that “oh no he didn’t” look. And just as a side note, you know how bad it gets when you call someone you’re sleeping with by the wrong name? It’s just as fucked up when you do it to someone you’re not fuckin. Word. And not withstanding the ass kisser at the beginning of the post, but for a while there I was quite the velvet tongued ass kisser my own self. So in true ass kissing tradition, I’m dedicating this rant to my lovely talented co-worker and pal, Melissa. Peace