I’m not tryin to past judgments or any shit like that or denigrate a certain group of people, but what the fuck is up with all the powered wheelchair’s here in fuckin mid-town? And aren’t there rules that regulate how these things are operated? Like uh, maybe that these aren’t fuckin cars, so why are you driving the muthafucker down the middle of the cocksuckin street? I’m driving to the laundry mat yesterday and as I turn onto Westport Road, there sittin in front of me is this cat all strapped into this big padded wheelchair. He has straps across his legs, chest and waist and he’s into this full mode reclined position. The only thing I see moving is his head and the one finger wrapped around the joystick of his chair. Suddenly it gets all oh-my-god and shit cause this muthafucker just blew out into oncoming traffic, missing cars by what seemed inches. I figure he’ll get up on the sidewalk but he’s driving stright down the middle of the street like he owned the muthafucker. Now I’m a couple of cars behind wondering if this cat has a death wish, cause he’s not really going out of his way to avoid traffic. Then it hit me, maybe he doesn’t give a good shit, and I’m in a wheelchair and get the fuck out of my muthafuckin way. Then later I saw this other muthafucker getting all fast and furious in her powered wheelchair not giving a shit. She’s blowing down Broadway faster then shit, and instead of using the sidewalk she’s bogarting the line in the street next to the parked cars so that if your door’s open you gots to slam the sonofabitch shut to ovoid having the bitch run into it. Oh, and lets not forget the handicapped cock-blocker’s either. I was at the Hurricane one night actually getting my smooth on, and down the bar a ways was this cat sitting in a powered wheelchair knockin em back. Actually I found out later that the cat worked as a stand up comedian (get it, stand up) around town, which I gave him props for, but anyway, later that night I’m leaving to go walk the chick I was with to her car so we could go home and mash ugly’s. But who did we see driving in circles in the middle of the fuckin street? You guessed it, one severely handicapped cat, stinkin drunk in a powered wheelchair. Now all I wanted to do was go home and have some mad fat boy sex, but isn’t it funny how chicks lose all reason around small furry animals and the handicapped? (See where this is going?) So instead of getting laid, there I am at four in the fuckin morning driving down Main street following wheelchair boy as he drove home at a blistering five miles an hour. I even got on my cell phone and called the police dispatcher to let them know what we were up too so as not to get busted and shit. So soon enough I’m joined by a couple of cops who pull up along side of me and ask if I was the one escorting the wheelchair. All I could do was point toward the curb where the wheelchair cat was attempting to circumnavigate a cat. The cops just looked at me, takin sips from their coffee, “you poor bastard, looks like you got this under control right? Cool, see ya”. Cock-blocking handicapped bastard. Peace