Citizens Against Breast-Feeding

"Thank you for calling Citizens Against Breast-Feeding, a grassroots organization that persuades women to abolish this incestuous act of immoral perversion. Please leave your name and phone number after the beep."

This is part of the actual recorded phone message you hear when you call the Citizens Against Breast-Feeding. The organization was formed to support the idea that breast-feeding should be outlawed by law because as their founder Jim Rogers puts it, “is an immoral and sexual act. I happened to hear an interview with him over the radio this morning and he seems quite driven in his belief that breast-feeding babies is wrong. He says that it’s not only wrong, but also child abuse because it’s a sexual act because mothers use it to get themselves off. He also believes that breast-fed children are more prone to homosexual and deviant behaveiour later in life. After hearing this guy I have to believe him and his organization to be a hoax. Nobody can be this fuckin anal and stupid and still pull in air. Plus I checked and the groups website seems to have changed. But it goes to show how riled folks can get over the issue of men telling woman what they can or can’t do with their bodies. There was a shitload of woman on the radio wanting to break their foot off in the cat’s ass. Now of course with me being who I am, I’ve never had an issue with breast-feeding. Except when I’m in a restaurant and some whisky-tango chick yanks out her tit and hands it to her crying ass six-year old. “Goddammit, now shut up and eat”! But that’s what I get for going to cheap buffets. Now there was a time I was at a party and this chick was passing her new baby around showing to everybody. She started breast-feeding it and I just couldn’t stop staring. Now with it being one of those PC-save the gay whales hairy chick armpit type of crowds, I started getting bitched at. “What are you staring at? Breast-feeding is a natural act between a mother and child”. “

Hey, it’s not the breast-feeding I’m actually looking at. I’m just stuck on the page where she’s sitting stright up in her chair and the baby’s laying on her lap. That has to be the biggest damn tit I’ve ever seen is all”.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"