blast from the past, snowcone eatin retard blues

I know I know, I'm going to hell
I get off work on Thursday and head to the bus stop. Standing at the stop is this cat that by every indication is mentally handicapped in some sort of manner. He walks up to me and after getting closer then I normally like a muthafucker to get he asks me in this nasal monotone what time will the bus show up. I tell the cat it should be in a few minutes and that’s when he informs me that it was seven and a half minutes late. And here’s how the rest of the conversation went.

Me, “buses run late sometime”.
Him, “why”?
Me, “maybe the traffic held it up”.
Him, “why”?
Me, “its rush hour and all that”.
Him, “why”?
Me, “things happen like that”.
Him, “why”?
Him, “tie my knot”.
Me, “what”?
Him, “tie my knot”
Me, “what”?
Him, “tie my knot”.
Me, “what knot”?
Him, “on my coat”.
Me, “why”?
Him, “tie my knot”.
Him, “tie my knot”.
Him, “tie my knot”.
Him, “tie my knot”.
Me, “ok”.
Him, “tie my knot”.
Him, “tie my knot”.
Him, “tie my knot”.
Him, “tie my knot tight”.
Me, “I’m trying”.
Him, “can’t you tie a knot”?
Me, “its kind of hard from this side”.
Him, “tie my knot”.
Him, “tie my knot”

As I tied his fucking knot the shitting bus pulled up and as I look up from the knot to the bus I see everybody on the bus staring at me, cause there I am bent over in front of this cat fumbling with the drawstring on his coat, which is near his fuckin crotch.

Him, “tie my knot”.
Him, “is that my bus”?
Me, “yeah”.
Him, “thank you”.

I can’t make this kind of shit up.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"