mooseknuckle blues

even god knows these muthafucker's suck

I feel like venting a bit so I’m gonna bring back something from the past and list a few things that can and deserve to suck my gnarly uncircumcised dick. And if I miss you or something you think should have been on the list, please speak up.

1. The honorable senator from the great state of Missouri that wants to enact a “sin tax” can come lip dance on ole Lance Wyoming. Who the fuck do you think you are pulling shit that say’s if I choose as a tax fuckin paying adult to visit a strip club or see my porn the old fashioned way by buying it in a store, you’re gonna charge me a upfront five dollar sin tax? You pious Nazi jackboot wearing homophobic mama's boy fuck.

2. And standing in line with your pious ass waiting their collective turn to witness the power of the Molten Mushroom should be all these so called censorship police. Instead of using god’s name as an excuse, you silly fucks need to take a ride with King Spititup. Here, let me spell shit out in plain English, so follow the bouncing finger. IF YOU MUTHAFUCKER’S DON’T LIKE WHAT’S ON THE FUCKING RADIO OR TV, TAKE THE FINGER OUT OF YOUR STINKIN ASS AND USE IT TO TURN TO SOMETHING ELSE! I’m sure Paul Harvey or National Public Radio or the stinkin 700 Club would like to have you. And my apologies to Paul Harvey for sending you pigwits to him.

3. All the broadcasting companies in America including the fuckholes over at the FCC need to come watch Everybody Loves the Nubbin. You all freak out when some middle aged black chick flashes her saggy tit on national TV like it’s gonna bring on the fuckin Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and shit. But you broadcast with glee shows depicting muthafucker’s getting their heads blown off or women getting the fuck slapped out of em. Where’s the sense in that shit? Don’t show anything closely related to the uncovered human body, or imply that people have sexual urges, but show all the killin you can squeeze into primetime. Even with my advanced vocabulary I can’t begin to describe how much you people suck. With all the suckin you muthafucker’s do I’m surprised your fuckin knees haven’t developed flat spots.

4. And on a personal note, I’d like to invite the American Public School System to sit on the bridge with Admiral James T. Cock and the crew of the USS Mooseknuckle. Instead of producing a nation of scholars and scientist and upright citizens, you’re producing sheep. That’s right, stinkin follow the herd, let’s not upset the status quo, mindless pussiefied sheep. Instead of a nation of freethinking young adults, the public schools are putting out zilch. These fucking kids are stepped on, berated, kicked in line. All in the name of safety or lack of funding, which is another bitch all by it’s self.

And this just doesn’t apply to the stinkin kids. But I can’t imagine being a teacher getting up every day knowing that to do what they love means fighting the system to make it work. It’s like a cop or firefighter going to the job and hearing that they have to work without a gun or water. Call me wrong, call me talking out’a the back of my ass, but that’s what the fuck I think. I think teacher’s in the public school system are underpaid, underused, and under-appreciated. It’s like I’ve said many a time before, sometimes the only deciding factor between little Suzie pulling blowjobs in the alley or getting into collage is a good teacher.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"