small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: movies I watched this weekend

Tuesday, May 31

movies I watched this weekend

Team America: World Police….

puppets suck

I was really excited to see this one because of all the fuckin hype. But to tell the truth and shit, I found it to be really goddamned boring and beneath me. I didn’t dig the storyline; I didn’t dig the puppets or the much ballyhooed puppet sex plus seeing the puppet strings really fucked with me. And speaking of the storyline, it actually pissed me off due to all the gratuitous violence and overwrought John Wayneisms that saturated the stupid movie. And even though I know that it was a movie made in a comic vein by two overgrown kids who wouldn’t know pussy if they stuck their fingers in it, and the stars of the movie were actual puppets. It actually made me angry and I ended up turning the muthafucker off.

The Aviator starring Leonardo DiCaprio as Howard Hughes….

This was another movie that I looked forward to seeing since I’ve been reading about the crazy germaphobic racist bisexual muthafucker all my life. I found the movie richly done and very cool to view, but I turned it off halfway because I couldn’t stomach looking at that fey muthafucker Leonardo DiCaprio another second. Also Cate Blanchett with her overacting ass as Katharine Hepburn really bugged me. I loved Katharine Hepburn and seeing Blanchett fist her image and memory rubbed me the wrong way.

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith…

This was ok and actually pretty cool considering there were no stupid Disney characters running around and Anakin Skywalker wasn’t so gay and Mr. teen-spirit this time around. It fit in very nicely with the original and answered a lot of questions that the fanboy’s have been jacking off too for years. As a matter of fact, I won’t swear to it but I think I saw more then a few sitting around the theater with jackets in their laps. I did dig that this was a more darker and violent Star Wars, which suited me just fine, as it should be. But what the fuck was up with all the little kids in the theater? Don’t non of you parents read? It says rated PG-13 for sci-fi violence and some intense images. Don’t bitch at Lucas if your little bedwetter’s wake up screaming for mommy cause they dreamed she’s dead.
"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ebert and Death. Would you review Madagascar for us? K Sose

10:56 AM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

You know I figured it would be a waste of my time to see all those movies. Thanks for the reviews, I just may go see Star Wars now.

3:38 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

You love Michael Bay movies, yet you didn't get that Team America was making fun of shitty action movies like that? Greg, I think your brain may still be on vacation... :)

12:13 PM  

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