A to Z

Saturday night I found myself at the Hurricane waiting for the annual A to Z party to arrive. This is a yearly social event where muthafuckers gather and in the spirit of what the fuck, visit a bar for each letter on the alphabet where they have a drink then move on to the next bar on the list. It’s like a pub crawl for serious alcoholics. But they always make the Hurricane the last bar on their stop mainly due to the fact that most of em are regulars here so it’s a safe haven.

I never take part in the A to Z, but I do enjoy watching em all stumble in thru the door cause watching professional drinkers at the end of their endurance is for lack of a better term, some fucked up shit to see. Some of em handle the rigors of twenty-seven or more drinks surprisingly well whilst some are just blasted beyond belief. Which is cool cause nobody drove and nobody’s driving home; it’s one of the rules.

And for an early Saturday night’s entertainment there’s nothing more entertaining then the mocking of drunks by their friends. For example the chick who decided to share her beer with her boyfriend by pouring into his glass, or at least that’s what she tried to do. She started off ok but then her arm just started moving of its own accord across the bar where most of the beer ended.

Or the cat who for some reason short-circuited and ran outside on the sidewalk screaming at the world only to realize that the doormen wasn’t letting his stupid ass back in. And let’s not forget the chick who was in complete denial and kept telling everyone that she wasn’t drunk in the least. Yeah, and apparently she can defy the fuckin laws of physics.

And then there was the pack behavior being shown by the whole group. You ever see a bunch of blind new born kittens seek each other out by smell and touch, and then they just huddle and squirm into a big mewling ball? Well that was the scene at the Hurricane with the A to Z party, except throw in loud talking and lots of drunk kissing and groping and shots and you get the picture.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"