small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: ground pounders

Monday, April 10

ground pounders

I pull up to the Quiktrip on Main near my apartment yesterday and as I park I notice in the rather small car next to me a couple of the big chicks. And if you know me you know I don’t have any issues with the big chicks right? I’m just saying that there were a couple of the big chicks parked next to me. Anyway, I’m sitting inside my car fuckin with my cellphone when one of the chicks gets out going in to the store.

The next thing I know I’m staring at the biggest whitest ass I’ve ever seen outside of the fuckin Internet. I guess as she stepped up on the sidewalk she couldn’t get her fat leg up far enough and had herself a good ole fashioned pratt fall. The gianormous white ass came into play because the chick was wearing a short skirt which don’t even get me started on the fashion schematics that involved.

And to make shit worse instead of standing up and playing it off she’s remaining all bent over trying to pick her shit up off the fuckin ground. I was gonna snap off a picture with my cellphone but her friend was scant feet away so I ruled out that ass kicking plus my fuckin ballsac was throbbing due to me straining from inhaling the laugh that was trying to escape my fuckin lungs. That was so much ass that somewhere an old wise Black man was going; "I sense the presence of ass for days I do".

So speaking of woman’s fashions there’s this new article of women's clothing I’m having issues with. I don’t know the proper name for it but it’s a jacket or sweater that only covers the wearer down to just below the breasts or armpits? What the fuck is that all about? I actually heard some chick bitching the other day about how cold she was and that she was going to the car to get her jacket and when she came back in she was wearing this shit.

This quarter jacket reminds me of that off the shoulder thing chicks were wearing a few years ago. You know the thing that looked like a top but left one shoulder bare? You couldn’t miss the muthafucker cause every fat chick in the city had to have one and instead of looking fashionable it looked like their body was trying to escape one fuckin arm at a time. Gah! I hated that shit.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger satyavati said...

Which is why I completely dispense with anything considered 'fashionable' and just wear all the weird shit I do.

2:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a shrug. its called a shrug. and as i always like to say, just cause they make the shit in your size, dont mean you have to wear it.
-- so responds the sister

3:50 PM  
Blogger HateTaxes said...

Fashion sense by Greg. It seems to be better than the stupid crap I see today. Don't get me wrong, a cute 19 yo babe in hardly anything is always nice, but please review your self in the mirror before being seen in public.

I am always amazed at chicks that wear belly shirts with the belly hanging to the crotch. I personally never wear muscle shirts, to old, to hairy and to much love handles. "To thyself be true."

7:16 AM  
Blogger LL said...

I thought those were bolero jackets.

I'm with you, Greg. You're just gonna see me in jeans and a HD t-shirt. That's my standard fare. Yes, I have a little black dress, yes I have slacks and blouses and shit, but mostly, I just go with what's comfortable. Plus, I have like a kajillion HD t-shirts. Makes for easy pickings in the early morning when the brain is still on pause. The big decision is white, gray, or black.

9:34 AM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Fashion = nonsense.

11:11 AM  
Blogger curmudgeon said...

I've always said "There's just some shit some people just shouldn't wear."

Spandex? In public? No, I wouldn't care to count the dimples in your ass.

2:25 PM  

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