ground pounders

I pull up to the Quiktrip on Main near my apartment yesterday and as I park I notice in the rather small car next to me a couple of the big chicks. And if you know me you know I don’t have any issues with the big chicks right? I’m just saying that there were a couple of the big chicks parked next to me. Anyway, I’m sitting inside my car fuckin with my cellphone when one of the chicks gets out going in to the store.

The next thing I know I’m staring at the biggest whitest ass I’ve ever seen outside of the fuckin Internet. I guess as she stepped up on the sidewalk she couldn’t get her fat leg up far enough and had herself a good ole fashioned pratt fall. The gianormous white ass came into play because the chick was wearing a short skirt which don’t even get me started on the fashion schematics that involved.

And to make shit worse instead of standing up and playing it off she’s remaining all bent over trying to pick her shit up off the fuckin ground. I was gonna snap off a picture with my cellphone but her friend was scant feet away so I ruled out that ass kicking plus my fuckin ballsac was throbbing due to me straining from inhaling the laugh that was trying to escape my fuckin lungs. That was so much ass that somewhere an old wise Black man was going; "I sense the presence of ass for days I do".

So speaking of woman’s fashions there’s this new article of women's clothing I’m having issues with. I don’t know the proper name for it but it’s a jacket or sweater that only covers the wearer down to just below the breasts or armpits? What the fuck is that all about? I actually heard some chick bitching the other day about how cold she was and that she was going to the car to get her jacket and when she came back in she was wearing this shit.

This quarter jacket reminds me of that off the shoulder thing chicks were wearing a few years ago. You know the thing that looked like a top but left one shoulder bare? You couldn’t miss the muthafucker cause every fat chick in the city had to have one and instead of looking fashionable it looked like their body was trying to escape one fuckin arm at a time. Gah! I hated that shit.




"and the monkey flipped the switch"