sweatin the small stuff

I want to wish a merry Christmas to a few people in lieu of my regular Friday bullshit

• I wish my mother and sister a merry Christmas for being who they are and for putting up with my insane bullshit. I know I’m not like the other kids but you both seem to love me anyway despite the sky on my world being a different color.

• The same goes for my brother and his wife up on the east coast. Just because you never hear from me doesn’t mean I don’t love you both.

• I wish Michelle a merry Christmas because you always have my back and my life would be so empty without you in it. And I couldn’t say that without giving props to your new husband for understanding that we’re a package deal. Oh, and when you hear us talking about the time we buried the dead hooker, we’re just kidding. really…………

• I want to wish all the women in my life a merry Christmas. I would name you all individually but sure as shit I’d forget one of you bitches or put you in the “wrong” order and that would only lead to getting my ass handed to me the next time I saw you. But you know who you are and if you don’t just pull your shirt up next time you see me and we’ll be good to go.

• I’d like to wish my small circle of friends a merry Christmas. Sometimes I play too hard or don’t come around and sometimes I play the old man on the hill, but you all never seem to mind and that means a lot to me.

• I want to wish all the folks that read this blog a merry Christmas. Some of you I’ve come to know over the years and some of you have sent me things and some of you have shown me your bestest body parts. But the most important thing is that you all still come around and for that I thank you all.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"