there's a new dildo slinger in town

I had planned to talk about how refreshing it was to hear that Tara Conner has decided to bring a fresh outlook to her reign as Miss. USA. Instead of being a role model for young women everywhere, this chick has decided to be a role model for ho’s the world over.

And I like to note that in this instance the term “ho’s” is in its proper usage. Not only is she hitting every bar and sausagefest in New York but Tara’s also she-banging every swinging six she can drag home.

And if that don’t endear her to ho’s the world over, she’s also been caught slapping tongues with Miss. Teen USA. Can’t wait for the movie to come out.

Anyway like I said, I had planned on talking about her for a while but I rather talk about my best friend Michelle instead, because like Tara Conner, Miss. USA, they both share a couple of things in common.

They’re both insanely hot women and outwardly they both seem fairly normal. But therein lays the rub since they’re not. For years Michelle would work during the day as a chaste librarian but at night she would leave the dusty books and dank halls of the library and enter her other occupation.

Yes, at night when most chaste librarians were in bed, Michelle would be awash in the dim colored lights of the local adult video store, slinging dildos and porn.

She did this shit for years and now that she’s been away from it for a few, she’s found that she misses the feel of rubber muffys and dicks in her more then adequate hands.

So she’s signed up with a company called “Edible Ecstasy”, got some cards printed up and enough sex toys to fill a giant rolling toolbox. She will be putting on Tupperware style coed dildo parties to show her wares.

She’s also in the process of building a website where not only will she host her giant box of cocks & tits but all her stories from her days of being a dildo slinger.
As a matter of fact the catalog from Edible Ecstasy is lying on my coffee table at home and if that muthafucker don’t weigh ten pounds I’m lying. Very impressive I’m just saying.

I will of course link to her site but you can take a glance at it now whilst under construction at “www.wellhellmichelle.com”.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"