small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: sweatin the small stuff

Friday, December 29

sweatin the small stuff

she can tinkle on me any time

From the “they ain’t called daddies little girl for nothing” department………………

Comes a story from up Michigan way where two little girls who were shopping with their father decided to veer off for a tinkle break. And yeah that’s right, I fuckin said tinkle. Grown folks piss and little girls tinkle.

Moving on, like I said the little girls headed to a bathroom in the mall where they were shopping and once in their respective stalls got down to the business at hand which was tinkling. So the girls are sitting there having a tinkle and giggling like little girls do when they spied this muthafucker peeking at the both of em thru the stall doors.

Then the next thing they knew here this muthafucker was trying to get inside the stalls with em. But the little girls pressed up against the doors and kicked and screamed until the cat ran out of the bathroom.

Now according to my many unknown inside sources, up until now shit was pretty scary for the little girls until they ran out of the restroom and found dad who of course was highly pissed off when he heard what happened. Just then the girls pointed at this cat who was crouched down in a nearby hallway and told their old man “that’s him” and it was on.

Dad went bullshit ballistic and went after Chester the molester along with all kinds of other muthafuckers who had heard what was going on. But old Chester who had better feet then brains gave em all the slip and disappeared outside where the crowd lost him in the sun or some such shit.

Later in the evening believe it or not, the father and the little girls were leaving the mall when the girls spotted the asshole in the parking lot apparently returning to the mall to get his car and shit.

The father said fuck this and told his girls to hold on to their tits as he put his car into drive and did what any red blooded father the world over would do. He stomped the gas and plowed dead into that muthafucker. Not once but twice hitting him hard enough on the second try that the cat ended up on the hood of the car.

By now mall security had shown up along with more people who along with the father started chasing the cat thru the parking lot where once again the muthafucker got away by jumping a fence and running across the freeway.

But according to my many unknown inside sources everything’s gonna turn out good. Chester the molester left his car which had all his information sitting inside of it in the happy hands of the local police.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous Dave S. said...

Daddy needs a better car if the dude is going to be able to take off running after getting hit twice.

2:51 PM  
Blogger PGP said...

Did you write something man?
I can't get past the picture........sheeesh!

8:15 PM  
Anonymous Serra said...

Either a better car or a better aim with the car he's got.

5:18 PM  
Blogger Sapphire said...

Fuck The Fucken Fucker. People like that should be dragged through a 25 foot long trench filled with barbwire, draggd into a pool of salt, dipped into a tank of piranhas and then castrated.

3:04 PM  
Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Happy new year!

3:11 PM  

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