battle dancing

I don’t give a damn who you are.

Fuckin up about the queen’s age and then trying to play it off by winking won’t fly.


Who else but the Queen of England can call you an “uncivilized American cretin” with just a look?











The older I get the more I learn that there’s shit I just can’t do like I used too.

Either because I don’t have the stamina anymore or more then likely because I know better then to try some shit.

Take for example this cat up in Connecticut who after a day of drinking decided he could bust a move to only end up dying.

Yeah this drunk muthafucker was hanging out in a parking lot with a bunch of folks who were dancing and shit. He gets his groove on and decides to challenge this other muthafucker to a dance-off?

So they started battle-dancing.

Ok, just for the record, tell me muthafuckers aren’t battle-dancing still? What is this, 1984?

Anyway old numb-nuts is battle-dancing away when he decided to bust out one of his old school moves and do a front flip.

He front flipped right on to his head and died as a result of busting his shit up. I should add that old boy was forty-eight years old which is pure proof that drinking makes you stupid.

But I can’t be too hard on the dead because I’ve been there.

It wasn’t too many years ago that I found myself watching a bunch of kids break dance. I had just walked out of the Hurricane and wasn’t feeling no pain if you know what I be saying.

As a matter of fact I was so drunk to the point where I just knew that I could break dance like a muthafucker and was just scant seconds from attempting to do so when a friend stopped me.

Thank god for small favors huh? I can picture myself trying to throw down and breaking all kinds of bones and shit and becoming a pee soaked broken mess.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"