give Fred a golf cart

I understand that to play the game of golf takes a great deal of skill. And of course there’s the ongoing raging debate on if golf’s actually a sport.

But that’s neither here nor there because it all amounts to shit if you can’t drive the fuckin golf cart.

I’m talking about this old cat up near San Diego who died after somehow driving his fuckin golf cart off a seventy-five foot cliff.

How in the fuck do you do that and why was there a seventy-five foot cliff on the muthafuckin golf course to begin with?

Who designs this shit, fuckin Klingons?

And since we’re on the subject of how to know when god hates you. Did you hear about all the drama that went on over at Jerry Falwell’s funeral?

From what my many inside sources tell me, the cops busted this student with a trunk full of homemade bombs and shit who was up to no good.

There were some folks protesting Falwell’s funeral and I guess he was gonna go after em.

Which to tell you the truth would have been fine by me since my many inside sources tell me that the protesters happened to be non other then Fred Phelps and his incestuous clan of confused retards.

I’m guessing this kid was gonna fuck somebody’s shit up and it was gonna be Fred’s. If my many inside sources are right I’m sorry the kid missed his chance. I’m just sayin and shit.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"