small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: giant robots for lunch

Thursday, July 5

giant robots for lunch

I’m sitting at work and around lunchtime I came to the very important conclusion that I really didn’t want to be there or here.

So I left and went to see a movie which happened to be the new “Transformers” movie.

Being that I was never a fan of the cartoon series I had no great expectations nor am one of those elitist muthafuckers who can’t stand Michael Bay movies. I mean really, if you go see one of his movies for deep thoughts and the meaning of life and shit, you got some muthafuckin issues to begin with.

Plus c’mon, it’s a movie about giant talking robots from outer space that kick the shit out of each other and blow more shit up, so fuckin Hamlet it’s not.

So let me tell you that I enjoyed the muthafuckin fuck out of it.

First off it’s a movie I think you can take the kids too because even though there’s a few instances of adult type language, the giant robots and blowing up shit are so badass that the kids won’t even notice.

The Autobots are big, soulful and just cooler then shit.

And to hear Optimus Prime speak in the original cartoon voice just rocks with its cock out. I only wish that he would’a pulled a Samuel Jackson and said something like “I AM MUTHAFUCKIN OPTIMUS PRIME!”

Because I’m so sure the next sound in the theater would have been the collective sound of every fan-boy achieving orgasm at the same time.

So take some advice type shit from me. Leave your fuckin brain out in the car, buy you some popcorn and sit down with a coke and a smile.

Because unless you’re just some type of sissified punk bitch you will leave the theater telling yourself over and over “I am OPTIMUS PRIME”!

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Bryan. said...

You are NOT fucking kidding...whan I heard Prime's voice I think I wet myself. And laughed my ass off at Jazz when he said "what's up little bitches?".

5:10 PM  
Anonymous The Brother said...

So what did you think of the JJ Abrams trailer about the monster ripping New York a new asshole?

4:06 AM  
Blogger Greg Beck said...

it looked cool except that they never showed the title of the movie!

7:19 AM  
Anonymous Nuke said...

Yeah Bay shoots big dumb action fun well, and my brother was a Transformers/GI Joe junkie so he practically vibrated thru it.

I enjoyed it as well, but if Prime had let loose with your line I woulda stood up and cheered.

And Abrams flick would make a good double bill with that new Will SMith picture (I liked the Charlten Hesten version way back when but this looks better).

N }:-

8:16 AM  
Blogger Well Hell Michelle said...

Now we know what you're dressing up as for Halloween this year.

10:22 AM  
Anonymous karen said...

I'm still stuck on paragraph two where you decide to ditch work to go to the movies. Man, I would so get about a million demerits for that.

11:52 AM  
Blogger PGP said...

The Brown Merit System"
1 attaboy = 10 merits
1 bagged off for the day or any part of = 50 de-merits

300 de-merits = your fired!

1 "Oh Shit" = automatic minus whatever merits you have to date!

The man do not care if you smkin crqck or watching Robot Monsters ......

1:04 AM  

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