small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>In honor of the movie "Dodge Ball", an old post from Jan 03</strong>

Monday, June 21

In honor of the movie "Dodge Ball", an old post from Jan 03

Best t-shirt spotted on wrestling,
"Don't hunt what you can't kill".
Word. It’s crossed my mind on more then one occasion that America’s raising a generation of pussie’s. The kids are taught in school that self-awareness and individuality are the learning tools of the devil and anyone that deviates from the herd is bad. There was the Greatest Generation, the Baby Boomers and Generation X, and now we got what I like to call the Gap Generation. These fuckin kids are so stepped on and herded into a corner that there’s no chance for mental growth. The Man has decreed that once kids reach a certain age its time to put a chain around the nutsac of youth. And one of the ways the Man’s doing this is by eliminating one of the most important tools a kid can have to mature and develop any sense of style and confidence. I’m talkin about the century’s old game that is Dodge Ball. And yeah, you heard me right, I’m talkin about fuckin Dodge Ball, which has all but been eliminated from the playgrounds of America. And why is that you ask? Because the Man in his fucked up thinking has determined that it makes some of the kids into little cocksucker aggressors, and that’s not what the Man wants. No, because he thinks that if little fuckin Johnny hits another little fistfucker with a fuckin ball it'll turn him into a fuckin Charlie Manson muthafucker! A lot of what I learned about life I learned from dodge Ball, or as we called it in the hood, War Ball. It taught me to stick and jab, when to attack and when to run. And it taught me how to work with others and form teams and how to handle stress by fuckin a muthafucker up. Dodge Ball is a bunch of kids standing in a loose circle. Each kid has a red soccer sized ball and the point of the game is to hit the kid across the circle from you whilst that kid tries his best to dodge the ball, thus Dodge Ball. Now War Ball is a whole different kind of beast altogether. No punk ass playground for war Ball, oh no, you take your ass to the gymnasium for this one. To play War Ball properly you need sixty to a hundred kids. Split the kids in half and send the halves to opposite side of the gym. Now each kid gets a rock hard basketball that been filled with air just short of exploding. As a rule War Ball is an equal opportunity sport. If someone’s been fuckin with you or makin your day bad, now’s the time to make amends. It’s also the chance to gather alliances and form the social lines that’ll follow you the rest of your life. At the whistle the kids bum rush each other like retards chaseing an ice-cream truck, tryin their best to knock the blue jesus shit out’a each other. The sheer physicality of War Ball is nothing short of a legalized street fight for kids. Kids are leaping and doing flips while at the same time knockin the fuck out of the poor sap they sit next to in math. And I’m here to tell you that getting hit with a basketball full on in the mush will calm your young ass in a fuckin hurry. And for God’s sake don’t be the kid that tries to run. Four or five kids will form a wolf pack and basketball this muthafucker to death. And what didn’t kill or seriously maim, only made the kids the kids stronger.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, Hell yeah! Those days back at the then Boys Club,(now called boys & girls club), playing war ball was pretty damn fun. There's a show on of all places the game show channel called ultimate dodge ball.It's not bad, but still don't come close to the raw animal aggression that we had back in the day when we played.

5:21 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

I just now realised why it is that picture of you on the right there creeps me out. Way back in my highschool art class, I once did a portrait of Charles Manson. The style was real graphic and black and white, similar to the effect you got running the polaroid through the machine. I ended up doing it in several different monochrome schemes and it was entered in a few contests and so on. Strangely enough, the only way I got away with a portrait of Charles Manson in Catholic school was that a remarkable number of people thought it was Jesus.
So there you go. I'm not saying you look like Charles Manson, but there it is.

5:05 AM  

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