small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>so wrong</strong>

Sunday, December 12

so wrong

So all during work Friday I’d been feeling all this discomfort in my groin, and it kept fucking with me cause I couldn’t figure out what was causing it. It wasn’t nothing bad and shit, just enough of an issue to be annoying. Plus I couldn’t shake the feeling that somewhere before I’ve felt this thing because the discomfort was familiar but I just couldn’t place from where. Now around three that afternoon I’m outside taking a smoke and whilst I’m smoking the cigarette I’m walking and shit. And whilst walking this thought came up on me and I suddenly stopped dead in my tracks and started doing this little James Brown shuffle and shit. And then it hit me, I knew what was causing all the fucking discomfort, it was my goddamned balls and shit. You know how I’ve been kidding about the older I get the lower my balls drop? Well fuck me running if they didn’t. That day I happened to have on a pair of boxer briefs and I guess they weren’t snuggling me up like the shit I’m used to wearing. And all day long as I walked around work my fucking balls were swinging to and fro and shit and slapping against the inside of my jeans. Is that some fucked up shit or what? So later that evening I was talking to some of the guy’s at the bar about the shit and I found out that I wasn’t the only one. Some cat said that’s its been years since he’s been able to wear boxers because of the same reason. And some other cat told me as time goes by it’ll get better cause if I’m lucky I’ll grow calluses and shit on my balls and they’ll toughen up. That’s some sad sad shit I tell you.
And on a different note have you been watching those Old Navy commercials featuring the little choir singing about pajamas and shit? Everyone in those commercials seem so fucking pretty and wholesome looking but I can’t take my eyes off the black chick on the right. Doesn’t she have the greatest come fuck me look you’ve ever seen? Cover me in baby oil and throw me to the lesbians. I’m just sayin and shit.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Erin said...

sometimes i wonder why i keep coming back to your blog cuz it's so damned offensive. but after i'm done laughing my ass off at your latest post i don't have much integrity left. ;)

2:23 PM  
Blogger Sivad said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:27 PM  
Blogger Sivad said...

ROFL, wow, who knew you could have a "ball dropping feeling". that's some shit.
i hope i never walk around one day wondering why i'm feeling particularly strained across the bosom only to suddenly realize that it's my boobs giving up on defying gravity. what a way to look forward to getting older.
hahahaha, well, i hope you enjoy your tightie-whitie's from now on :)

3:29 PM  

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