the Rock Princess

Friday after work I went on down to the Hurricane to do my usual thing which is hang out till the bands started. Around six a bunch of people started gathering due to the fact that there was a baby shower getting ready to happen. The women who the baby shower was for is well known amongst the local heavy metal scene due to her promotional skills and no less due to the fact that her husband is a staple on the local music scene and has been for years.

Downstairs in the poolroom of the Cane is where everybody gathered to pass out presents and eat cake and all the other shit that happens at a baby shower. Whilst upstairs on the stage the woman’s husband was setting up his amp along with a handful of other musicians. I asked the cat was going on and he let me in on that he planned to do some songs he had written for his wife and new baby to be.

I told him how cute that was and if he like I’d be happy to catch his mangina cause that muthafucker was all pooking out and shit and about ready to fly off. He laughed and thanked me for my concern and went back to setting up the stage. After a bit I looked around and noticed that the entire bar had cleared out and everybody had assembled to the poolroom. Suddenly it was time for the music and everybody erupted from the downstairs poolroom. There were so many people coming up out of that small room that it looked like a fuckin clown car emptying out.

Everybody went up and stood in front of the stage and the husband and the band he assembled for the event started playing. With his wife who was in her eight month seated on a stool in front surrounded by friends and family, he sang his love to her. And you know what? It was about the coolest thing you’d ever see.

Here was this gruff looking metal cat who could’a stayed home or gone out with the boy’s, but instead he put together a band to perform a bunch of songs he wrote for his wife and his soon to be child. All we could do was stand there and watch as he poured his heart out to the both of em. No joke, it made a muthafucker want to tear up and shit. It made me happy to see two people so much into each other and what they had to offer each other.

And I realized that for a short space of time the world wasn’t so fucked up anymore. I didn’t bring any presents but since I know they both read this blogsite, I’d like to say a few things to the soon to be new addition of Rick and the Rock Princess. Call it advice for the newborn if you will.

* Wash it before you use it.

* If it's free, something must be wrong with it.

* If you can talk your way into it without paying for it, then do it.

* If it's called a cat or kitty please don't fuck with its tail.

* When your uncle tells you to call your mama a Ho. You better think it over. Your uncle can go home, your young stupid ass is already there.

* Don't be pullin nobodies finger.

* Just because it smells funny don't make it bad for you.

* Everything you see don't belong in your fuckin mouth.

* Don't be tryin to shove shit in your ass. That's not what the hole's for.

* Wait till you're older before you experiment.

* Being gay is ok; just don't tell burnt out Uncle Pete who lost both his feet in the last war. (Whatever war that may be.) Oh, and don’t ever let Uncle Pete hear you bitchin about walkin to school. You’ll never hear the end of that one.

* Don't be tryin to hump family members. Just because the dog does don’t make it right. The same goes for trying to lick your own balls.

* The same goes for the dog.

* Don't be a dumbass.

* Carpenter pants are damn comfy.

* If it says hot, looks hot, smells hot. Then dumbass, it's more then likely hot.

* When in doubt, what would Shaft and John Wayne do?

* Your mother and father will love your stinkin ass no matter how fucked up you get.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"