early bullshit warning

a must have for first asshole responders

The Terri Schiavo protest has grown a life of it’s own (no pun intended). It seems that every street corner preacher with a tank of gas has shown up in front of the hospice with something profound to say or an agenda to push. I don’t trust these muthafucker’s as far as I can piss and sure wouldn’t want em speaking or trying to represent my cause no matter what it happened to be. My grandfather was a Baptist Minister for most of his life and was about as old school as you can get. Except for racial issues I never heard him bad mouth anyone except for street corner preachers and their ilk. When I was just out of high school I worked at this old school type full service gas station that was located in the hood. One day I was in the garage airing up one of those old style truck tires that used a metal hoop to keep the bead in place.

It was sitting on the tire-changing machine and either I threw too much air into it or the hoop popped. But the damn truck tire exploded throwing me across the garage bay. I stagger out into the front drive and I’m standing there bleeding and shit with my clothes hanging off me cause they had been shredded in the explosion when one of those storefront preacher types walks up to me. The cocksucker has the balls to tell me that it’s god’s will what happened to me and that it’s a sign that I must be a sinner, and that I need to bring god into my life. Later I’m relaying this shit to my grandfather who surprises me to no end by saying,

“fuck that muthafucker, muthafucker’s preaching their shit on the corner ain’t worth a damn”

"and the monkey flipped the switch"