small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: who's seen this one?

Wednesday, October 26

who's seen this one?



Last night I dreamed about this movie I saw some years ago with a bunch of friends.
“The Masked Avenger versus Ultra Villain in the Lair of the Naked Bikini”
This was some fucked up shit, just fuckin wrong I tell you. The acting was bad, the women were mugugly and the way the Masked Avenger went about his superhero shit both amazed me and angered me.

It’s like this, no matter what the muthafucker was doing, running or fighting or whatever. If he saw what he thought was an attractive women or a nice pair of panties, he’d stop in his tracks and start beating off something fierce. He’d beat off so hard that when he ejaculated he’d always fall down, which for some reason kept pissing me off, and he’d make a huge mess and there’d be this thick stream of white liquid going all over his clothes and face.

The first time we saw it everyone watching lost their muthafuckin minds. Death by ejaculation, who knew? At the very end the villain was thwarting his every move by throwing nekked women in his path so that he’d have to stop every time and beat the monkey until he was finally spent. (spent, that’s a good word) The plot dealt with the Masked Avenger trying to save his sister the pious Nun who had been kidnapped by the Ultra Villain to be used as a vessel to carry his dastardly man seed till a son was born. But his efforts to save her were to be naught because he was all blown out from jacking off so much.

But as a last ditch effort his sister the pious Nun parted her legs and let the Masked Avenger see her red panties of power. And I swear to God the muthafucker beat off so hard that not only did he kill all the evil henchmen by death from ejaculation, which was just the most fucked up shit to see, but he blew out his man meat in the process and it came off in his hand. And that ended up being hung from the neck of a limping goat, and no, I won’t explain farther.

Grown men and women, no matter how hip we think we are shouldn’t have to view a movie where the hero’s best move is fire hosing sperm farther then I can throw. And has anyone seen the show on the TLC channel dealing with the proper way to eat pussy, or for you college types, cunnielingius? (That fucked up my spell checker) This was like in a class setting and had models and all that shit. Monkey butt ugly but models nevertheless. It was actually a very interesting show and I hoped I picked up a few tips.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"

3 Comments:

Anonymous ZEROPOINTE said...

hey Beck.. I've been reading your stuff forEVER, funnier than hell.
I linked you from my blog. hope that's ok.

9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hell, that's sounds like a crazy flick. I'm going to Amazon to see if I can get it.
MM

11:52 AM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

I love bad cult movies, but that sounds like one I need to miss.

12:48 PM  

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