small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: assholes suck

Thursday, February 2

assholes suck



One of the best “fuck you’s” I’ve ever seen came years ago when I lived on the Plaza here in town. It was one of those hot summer nights and I happened to be standing on this corner waiting to cross the street. Now for those of you unfamiliar with the Plaza, it’s one of those upscale shopping/living areas that all major cities have and it’s also modeled after this quaint little town in Spain.

But the oddest thing about it is there are very few stop signs or proper stop lights in the area at all, something about stop signs and shit hurting the ambience. So muthafuckers have to really pay attention when crossing the street or driving around or you’ll get your shit fucked up. In front of me inching through the intersection is this old ass Chevy being driven by this equally old ass man. Suddenly thru the opposite intersection comes this Blazer full of what looks like college kids. They start honking and screaming at the old man to hurry and get out of the way. I mean they’re just being huge jerky assholes about it.

Without changing expression the old man just backs his shit up and after throwing into drive, rams into the side of the Blazer. Then he backs up and does it again and again and again. Then just drives off no worse for ware except that his bumper’s hanging loose. Whilst back at the intersection the occupants of the Blazer are just sitting there with their mouths hanging open in shock. Not a scratch on em but the Blazer is fucked up with the side all caved in like a muthafucker. After seeing that two things crossed my mind, don’t fuck with old people and that’s the way to treat rude assholes.

I only bring this up because it’s what I feel like doing every time I see some muthafucker parking in a handicapped spot that shouldn’t be there. I can’t stand that shit, where some uncaring cocksucker parks their cocksucking ass in the handicapped spot simply because they’re too muthafuckin lazy to walk their cornholing asses a few feet. You need your fuckin feet broke and your goddamned fingers smashed in a fuckin vise and Chuck Norris kicked in the pussy or balls. You rude, insensitive cum gurgling pricks. And the same goes for you little pieces of chum that use the temporary handicapped tags whilst being healthy as a goddamned pig. Pussiefied little bitches.



"and the monkey flipped the switch"

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

TOWANDA!!!!!

1:19 PM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Prexaclty!

2:07 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Man, I wish I had an ol' beater to do that with! And you're right, assholes suck.

3:48 PM  
Anonymous valorious said...

I would LOVE to have a car I could just ram into something over & over. I used to do that with old plates; buy them second-hand and when I needed to, just throw & smash them. It's highly satisfying...

9:43 PM  

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