small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: at last an actual post to go with this picture

Thursday, January 26

at last an actual post to go with this picture

Some days it’s just so fuckin amazing what kind of shit you pick up from reading thru the news. Like this morning I couldn’t help but notice this article where this research team led by a university biologist whom I imagine has many plaques on his wall discovered a new unbeknown fact about bats. After much debate and intense study this cat and his research team have found that in bat species where the females are the most promiscuous, or for you lesser zeros, fuck a lot,
the males boasting the largest testicles or balls also had the smallest brains. And conversely, where the females were faithful or didn’t whore all over the cave and kept their asses at home, the males had smaller balls and larger brains. It seems that bats make kind of an evolutionary trade off between having brains or fuckin a lot.

The research team looked at the balls of over three hundred and fifty bats and found a huge contrast in ball size. And just let me say that measuring bat nuts has to be a job you either love or hate? I mean hell; most of us have a hard enough time getting up in the fuckin morning as it is. But to know that when you get to the shop your whole fuckin day is going to be committed to measuring the ball sacs of muthafuckin bats? And furthermore, where’s those cocksucker’s PETA during all this? How do the stinkin bats feel about getting their balls all felt up and shit? It’s not like they can say “hey muthafucker stop invading my personal space and shit before I sink a tooth in you neck and shit and suck you blood”.

Anyway, it looks like bats are one of those species where size really counts. It seems that in a population where the bat chicks are all about getting their stink on, the male bats in order to be competitive will divert all their energies to growing bigger balls. And keep in mind I’m probably getting this all wrong, but if my memory serves me correct the bat that produces the most sperm wins and so a lot of bats have evolved these really huge oversized sperm producing balls. And in bat populations where the bat chicks don’t whore around as much and tend to stay home, the males have smaller balls but larger brains.

I don’t know; as I was reading thru all this I just found it all oddly familiar. Oh, and the many inside sources also want to add that promiscuity is known to make a difference in ball size in some other mammals. For example, chimpanzees are promiscuous like a muthafucker and have balls that are many times larger than those of gorillas, in which a single dominant male has exclusive access to a harem of females.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Bella said...

That is some creepy shit. People are being paid to look at the nut sacs of bats.....

I'm amazed.

2:02 PM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Maybe it is all about exerciseing, the more you exercise the balls the bigger they get, hhhmmm.......maybe I can get a harem and do a study.

3:56 PM  
Blogger Nightmare said...

I would hate to have to put "Ball Sac Measurer" on my resume.

8:51 PM  

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