small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: random old thoughts

Tuesday, January 17

random old thoughts



I was talking about old compared to new rock shows and I mentioned that some of the women that hang out at the Cane were pious bitches cause they wouldn’t do the flash the band thing. Well, I want to apologize for calling women I don’t even know a bunch of pious bitches. The women of the Cane certainly aren’t pious and simply because they don’t wanna show their titties don’t make em bitches. And bitch is such a misunderstood word don’t you think?

I mean ole Cooter can walk to the corner store for a taste and sitting on the stoop with her titties hanging loose can be Sally Mae from down the road talking to Maryann the storekeeper’s wife. And lying in the sun next to the stoop could be two female coon dogs giving suck to their young. Now ole Cooter, being the dog lover that he is gives a holler.
“Shiiiiit! Look there at the titties on them two fine bitches! Hell, they so fine I could give a lick my own damnself.”
And nobody gets pissed cause they know Cooters talking about the fuckin dogs. But let there be no dogs and ole Cooters getting an ass full of number twelve buckshot. So this should illustrate that when I used the word bitch I meant it in a good way. Like when a Pimp calls his Ho’s bitches but not as in a negative connotation of fine womanhood.


And moving on here’s why I have a problem with some of the more strenuous fetish’s floating around. Not withholding the fact that some of that shit just looks painful, like fisting. That’s just some odd looking shit. See, I said odd, not wrong, note the difference. Heck, I’m all for two consenting adults doing whatever to each as long as it don’t involve scaring the kids. But folks need to temper some of this shit with a little common sense.

Like fuckin on train tracks for the adrenaline rush, sounds cool until the train plows into the both of you and you both show up at heaven’s gate permanently stuck in the reach-around position. Or like this one cat that couldn’t get off without the rush. So he has his wife stick a pistol into his groin pretending she’s gonna blow the johnson twins off.

His adrenaline jumps and he pops and he’s good to go. But now he figures that if the guns bigger he’ll get off harder so he has the wife stick a shotgun up against his ballsac. She’s doing the Fem Nikita thing, screaming
“yeah baby, who’s my bitch now,
when he grabs his cock and shouts, “
now baby! Pull the trigger now”!
And she pulls the trigger and unloads his balls clear to the basement. They forgot to unload the stinkin shotgun! What a dumbass, I’m sorry; I meant what a ball-less dumbass! That’s some fuckin tragic shit. Doctor, Doctor, find my balls, please


"and the monkey flipped the switch"

6 Comments:

Blogger Nightmare said...

My ex liked fisting. She had a huge vagina! I have a HUGE fist too. it was a match made in hell.

2:24 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Well, all I can say is that amongst my various clients...one likes me to instruct him when he waxes up, then flames up. On a related note...a woman I work with has a submissive male client who pays her to call him "bitch" and then light his ass on fire.

Literally.

You know I'm an open-minded girl, but...OUCH!

5:24 PM  
Blogger Sapphire said...

Ohhhhh Mistress Bella!!...Not. I don't think so. They can keep thier freaky fetish stuff to thier own. Oh wait my girl friend did some freaky vampire fetish stuff to me last night. Oh well..No one's perfect. Bite me again baby....Evermore



On another note....
Just drop by your local adult toy store and check things out. All you have to do is look and you will know what people do. I don't know honey that's a little to big.....Fuck!!...Now that would hurt No Way! Never! Never! Never!. Wait a second this is not my bolg.

Truthfull I don't go to the point of streching skin and pian....That's not for me..Evermore

6:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about skulling? Now don't be rolling your eyes 'cause I saw a picture. On the web no less.

Fuckin looked real enough to me. I kid you not.
MM

10:02 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

Now maybe there's some girls out there that got stuff stretched out enough that you can park a 64 Buick in there with room left over but this girl's here to tell you that stuff's still snappy round the homestead and the ONLY fist you'll see around here is the one I duck for being a little too bratty sometimes.

12:13 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

And don't think I'm talking down the freaks, because God knows I'm one of them.

12:14 PM  

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