ejaculate from the penis of knowledge

Driving to work today a squirrel darted into the street and did that crazy zigzag thing that stupid squirrels do and as I heard/felt the squishy pop as I drove over it I had an epiphany.

Life is like a squirrel darting into traffic

Instead of sitting safely on the curb until traffic clears there’s this innate thing in a squirrel’s essence that drives it into traffic damming all the rules.

We’ve all seen it, up the road a stupid squirrel pops its head up out of the grass or the side of a tree. Traffic can be thicker then a muthafucker but does the squirrel stop to consider the danger? Fuck no, instead it gathers up its little furry body and does the bum’s rush into the street zigging and zagging its course. It’s like some insane video game of death as the squirrel darts back and forth betwixt the wheels of all the cars until it’s almost to the other curb only to dart back for the other side and its impending doom.

And instead of basking in the sun noshing on a nut or two or fucking another squirrel, it lies dead and squashed in the middle of the road stinking like a muthafucker until traffic eventually grinds it into a smear in the street. And isn’t that a lot like life? Instead of hanging back most of us just tend to jump willy-nilly into life with out a thought to the dangers or circumstances of what we’re doing. The grass make look greener on the other side but you better be sure you really want it or crossing the street to get to it will get your ass kicked.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"