sweatin the small stuff

From the “stupid is as stupid does” department……..

comes a story of a dog’s love for his master gone bad. Yeah the other day some cops were tooling down the road when they saw this muthafucker coming out of the store. They recognized his ass as someone who they suspected of having dealt in stolen property and they waved him down so as to have a talk with him.

But the cat instead of cooperating jumped into his truck and made a break for it and the cops hit the lights and the chase was on. The guy was tearing ass down this bumpy dirt road and sitting in the passenger seat the cops could see this dog being bounced around like a fuckin ping-pong ball and shit just getting slammed all over the place.

Now luckily or unfortunately depending on whose muthafuckin viewpoint you’re coming from, the chase came to an ugly abrupt end. According to my many inside sources, the chase came to a quick halt when the dog who we can only guess got tired of getting his big furry ass slammed around the inside of the car went apeshit.

The dog got so pissed he just reached over and bit his fleeing master in the fuckin face taking off a good part of the muthafucker’s nose. Yeah, I betting the fuckin bank that ole Cooter never saw that coming. “Wooooo lawdy…boy they’re never gonna catch us now!!! What are you staring at? Stop all that goddamned growling…..ow..ow..ow quit biting me you sonofabitch….mah face!…mah face!…somebody call 911…call 911!!”

You know this almost qualified as a “you know when god hates you” entry. Cause I thinking it’s bad enough that not only are you a thieving stupid muthafucker, lacking the common sense to know not to run from the cops. But as you’re running from the cops your old dog comes out of left field and decides he’s had enough of your bullshit and bad driving and decided to take you out. So now you’re sitting in lockup with half your fuckin nose bit off looking at a few years in jail knowing that your dog hates you and your life sucks.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"