small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: sweatin the small stuff

Friday, February 23

sweatin the small stuff

From the ever popular “fuck you, I’m Paul Harvey” department………………………

Comes a story where the old adage “fuck with the bull, you get the horns” has never been truer. Over around Costa Rica one of those Carnival cruises had stopped for a bit so folks could get out and do a little sightseeing and shit.

About a dozen or so senior citizens had gotten together and rented a bus to take them to one of the local beaches. As the group of old folks do their thing picking up shells and other like shit, they spy this small group of young cats walking toward em.

Suddenly out come the knives and guns as the young cats pull the bum’s rush and try to mug the entire group of blue hairs.

So you know how I’m always saying shit about never underestimate the old because you never know what they might have done in the past? Well the three muggers might have thought the frail oldsters on the beach looked like easy marks but who knew?

So these black hearted bastards ran up full intent on mugging the old people only to suddenly find themselves fighting for their stupid lives. Yeah, the fuckin group of gray-hairs started fighting back against the armed muggers.

Fuck, from what my many inside sources tell me, one old cat in his seventies who was retired from the military grabbed one of the muggers in a headlock and broke his fuckin neck. That’s when the other two assholes said fuck it and ran for the hills leaving their dead buddy behind.

Who knew that the group of old folks turned out to be the fuckin dirty dozen and shit? None of the oldsters were hurt except for one who was treated for an anxiety attack. And I bet that probably came from him getting upset that he didn’t get enough boot time against the muggers like he wanted too. Again my many inside sources tell me that the local police will not press any charges since the oldsters clearly acted in self defense.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous Joshua Xalpharis said...

I'm more surprised that the bus wasn't up on blocks.

I underestimate the ass-kicking potential of an old person only once, and I ended up on my ass easy.

I'll never do that again, and hopefully neither will the remaining muggers. Then again, they are stupid.

11:48 AM  
Blogger PGP said...

I have an older brother who is a genuine AARP type guy.
Him and my sister in law were Navy when young. She a self defense and fitness trainer and he's seen some nasty shit go down in waterfronts all over the world. Geezers they look like and geezers they are....but they can kick ass like kids just cannot comprehend.
Brother John and wife Marilyn pull up to a stop sign near Gainsville FL one day. A bunch of teenaged types are standing there and do the "WHat the fuck are u lookin at thing?" Followed up with spit on the window and fingers for all. One kid makes the mistake of kicking the door! Boom..sis pops the door open as he sticks his stupid face up to the window and smashes his schnoz....she's out of the minivan in a snit and collars the closest in a choker. Bro John is out the drivers door before the first one hits the ground with his face in his hands and does a full front body tackle into another that carries them both into the hedge plants. As sis is letting her unconscious victim fall to the dirt bro is getting back up and the other two wanna be tough guys are backin up fast as they can.
Let's get out of here hun' I think I hurt that one says my bro!

Old folks may be weak or they may not be and you cannot tell by the wrinkles or liver spots.
Learn to be peaceful or learn the hard way!

8:03 PM  
Blogger Nightmare said...

I should have come here first! I would never had written about the same topic! Nice work on the marine ass whooping story Greg!

9:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Greg...
The cool thing is that the old fucks dragged the wannabe robber onto the bus and carried his dead ass to the local cop shop - told the local fuzz "...lookie what we got!" Cops patted 'em on the back and sent them on their way. Wish our local cops could take some lessons...

9:55 AM  
Blogger Joe said...

This guy is my hero!

11:35 PM  

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