small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>cartoons</strong>

Tuesday, January 25


Ok, with all the press going on about wither SpongeBob Squarepants, who lives in a pineapple under the sea is gay or not, I figured I’d throw my two cents in. So I’m making a list of cartoon character’s I remember and what I think of em. If your favorite character isn’t on my list, fuck you. Either I don’t remember it or it’s too new for me to give a shit. And don’t look for any of the Japanese shit cause unless it La Blue Girls, I never watch it.

·Archie and Jughead. Either gay or wanting to come out of the closet. Close your eyes and picture ole retard Jughead on all fours looking over his shoulder as Archie plows him like a cornfield and you’ll see what I mean.

·Casper and Wendy. Casper was Wendy’s “best” invisible friend if you get my drift. Plus talk about the opposite of jungle love.

·Yogi Bear and Boo Boo. Smarter then the average bear my ass. How smart could you be having a best friend named after crap?

·Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble. Hmmm, another one of the freakish Hanna-Barbera cartoons. Wasn’t Bedrock just one huge swinger community?

·Rocky and Bullwinkle J. Moose. The cartoon version of Matt Damon and that other gay muthafucker he’s always in movies with.

·Ruff and Reddy. Another Hanna-Barbera cartoon, doesn’t the name say it all?

·Sam Sheepdog and Ralph Wolf. A sadomasochist pair if I ever saw one. Almost as bad as Tom & Jerry but not as funny and still not as gay as Wlie E. Coyote and the stinkin Road Runner or not as butch as Spike the Bulldog and Chester the Terrier.

·Speedy Gonzalez with his giant ass yellow sombrero and a white shirt and pants, was the worst thing to happen to Mexicans since Ponch.

·He-Man, who wins my vote for gayest cartoon character in the fuckin universe.C’mon, big juiced up, overly tan muthafucker running around in action panties and not a WWE wrestler? How could he not be gay? And what about the homoerotic image of him pulling his giant sword, and his thing with the giant tiger? Huh?
“I have the power!!!”
Yeah, you tell me.

·Then there was Popeye the Sailor, with his spinach fetish who had this really gay love-hate thing going on with big ole Bluto but who also loved this anorexic whore with no tits by the name of Olive Oyl who was dumber then a baggie full of pee that the two of em fought over all the time. You’d think Olive Oyl had the famous snapping pussy with the kung-fu grip and shit. And don't even ask me what the fuck Eugene the Jeep was, or who he was fuckin, maybe Wimpy with his broke ass.

·Bugs Bunny, famous transvestite cross dresser. Worked Broadway a lot.

·Elmer Fudd, had the mad insane hots for Bugs, rumored to have fucked both Bugs and Daffy Duck.

·Tasmanian Devil, can you say no penis plus PCP and anger control problems.

·Porky Pig, big gay stuttering pink pig. What a horrible role model for stupid kids.

·Foghorn Leghorn, big giant gay rooster from the Deep South, most likely a racist too. Also rumored to be a pedophile.

·Sylvester the lisping cat, had this intense thing for Tweety Bird but was held back by being really stupid, also the gay lisp didn’t help, plus Granny the old lesbian had Tweety’s back.

·Pepe Le Pew, French serial rapist. Loved the whores.

·Witch Hazel, nothing but a cannibalistic pedophile.

Ok, so I missed some shit and didn’t have the time to go into depth like I would’a liked. So sue me. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

u are wrong.....just wrong.......on so many so many so many time zones.......

so says the sister.......

7:06 PM  
Blogger Sapphire Raven said...

Thank god he left out the thunder cats and gargoyles. Thunder cat's Hoooooooooooooooooooo...........Evermore.

8:03 PM  
Blogger Sid said...

if you like la blue girl, check out twin angels,
er, or so i've heard.
*cough, shifty look, slinking off*

11:30 PM  
Blogger me said...

I've posted this comment on two other sites and I'll say it again. I don't care which ones are gay or not. I think it's best if Spongebob IS gay, I happen to LOVE gay men, they are some of my best girlfriends!!!

6:06 AM  
Blogger your brother said...


4:42 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

OK: you forgot Gatchaman, the best Japanese cartoon of all time, brought to the US as "Battle of the Planets" and "G Force".. and you also forgot the worst, most racist cartoon of all time, Rickety Rocket. I wrote a post on it once, it pissed me off so bad. And I am still waiting to hear about how the Jetsons were incestuous.

7:35 PM  
Blogger Harvey said...

Some speculation about the Jetsons:

1:27 PM  

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