don't like it

image:www.woollymammoth.com
Maybe I’m a Johnny-come-lately and shit, but I’ve been noticing a disheartening trend as of late. It’s a given evil that whilst watching TV, a muthafucker’s gonna have to sit thru shitloads upon shitloads of commercials. And it’s bad enough that depending on what channels or programs a muthafucker’s watching, the fuckin string of commercials might last as long as five or ten minutes. All of that including the sheer idiotic buy buy dribble that reams us in the ass like we’re whore’s on the river front, is understood.

But the thing that’s been brothering me as of late is when I see the same faces shilling different shit over and over again. How can I feel at ease throwing down my hard earned greenbacks for that penny a month life insurance plan, when the grandfatherly cat on the TV with such an honest face telling me that the plan gives him such peace of mind was just on LA Law for stabbing some cat in the neck? Or the little baby in it’s mother’s arms keeps showing up with different families? “Hey, didn’t I just see that little tit sucker with a different mother”?

It’s fucking bugging the hell out of me. I know it’s a fucking commercial and that the job of commercial’s to sell me shit but where’s the trust? Where’s my fucking Paul Harvey when I need him to tell me what I need to buy? Not the cat that I saw yesterday in a Gap commercial or the week before selling Spam or this morning telling me how he only uses this certain lice remover. What does he stand for, what good is he doing me? And don’t get me wrong and shit, I’m glad a muthafucker has a job and all that good shit, but seeing the same faces over and over again is rubbing me raw like a pair of over starched tighty-whities.

Not that I starch my fucking underwear, but you get what the fuck I’m saying, right? I mean what if the “can you hear me now” cat was to show up on a stinkin Burger King commercial? You’d go “hey, what’s up with the “can you hear me now” guy”? I loved that guy and was going to buy his fucking phone service, but not anymore. They must be shit for him to up and leave like that and go flip burgers. I’m just sayin that it’s all confusing and shit and I don’t like it.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"