small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: the bum's rush

Tuesday, August 16

the bum's rush

"like I asked Greg for a dollar
and he said show my tits first?
ohmygod how rude"

I see in the stinkin newspaper that the Atlanta city council had a hearing proposing putting limits on panhandling or begging in parts of downtown Atlanta. And of course people are crawling out of the fuckin woodwork complaining of racism and that folks are wanting to keep a muthafucker down and shit. Business owners and people who live and work downtown are concerned with customers and safety and the fact that the most aggressive panhandlers aren’t even homeless. You know, I’ve never been to Atlanta so I don’t know the situation there.

But from living here in Midtown all my adult life I know that the bums around here can be a fuckin pain in the ass. And I can assure you that people that have to walk the bum gauntlet everyday don’t really give a rat’s fat ass about the ethnic background of the bum, we’re just sick of dealing with em. And before some of you halleluiah chorus, tree huggin, patchouli oil wearin freaks try to get in my ass, to me there’s the “homeless” and then there’s the “fuckin bums. The bums pester people for change and hassle the women and basically rub me the wrong way. The “homeless” need our “compassion” and a leg up. Muthafuck a bum cause there’s a big fuckin difference.

Now there’s a couple of muthafuckers I throw a couple of bucks at or a pack of smokes, mainly cause they don’t run up on me like the rest of these muthafuckers do. Oh, and goddamn please, if you want a fuckin smoke don’t be making with the fuckin sign language like you no speakie the fuckin English and shit. You want a smoke, then look me in the eye and ask me for a smoke. Don’t be waving your fuckin fingers in front of your mouth like some corn eatin retard. And as far as bum’s being homeless and shit? If your ass is so homeless how come you got a different change of clothing everyday and sporting better sneaks then what I got on?

Like this one bitch who always tries to hit me up that I narked out early one morning throwing money into the all night deposit at the fuckin bank. Back in my bouncing days we’d see em pull up in cars and four or five of the muthafucker’s would hop out. Shit was like fuckin Amway the way these cocksuckers networked the area. And I got in trouble for this a few years ago. But if you’re a chick on the bum with a nice rack? What’s wrong with me saying, “ok, you want a couple of bucks, you pop out the titties and we’ll see”.
Oh my god people called me wrong for that.

I actually can understand a muthafucker needing a handout and shit, cause there’s been times back in the day when I’ve sold blood for rent or food. But when they start getting aggressive about it then we got a problem. I walking home from the Hurricane around one in the morning one year and this cat walks up and asks me for change. He gets told no and I move on right? I get less then ten feet away when these three other clowns hit me up. I tell them no, then this one muthafucker steps toward me blocking my path and tells me I’m lyin. Now I can get beat down like anyone else, but being punked out by bums just ain’t kosher.

I told em to do whatever they thought was right, then turned my back and started walking again. I gotta stop doin that, one of these times I’m gonna get my bluff called. But here’s a good piece of advice about bums. Don’t fuck with em just to be fuckin with em. Never fuck with a cat whose only modes of transportation are his feet. A bum on foot can cover some serious miles in a short time and you’ll never hear em coming up behind you until it’s too late. The bottom line is that you can tell who really needs the handout and the pussie’s who just want your change.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous RD said...

I pretty much read the whole thing thinking you were talking about my freak'n Congressmen. Ha!

11:31 AM  
Blogger Nightmare said...

I was actually attacked by a bum once, I did what you did and he jumped me and my partner. Literally JUMPED on our backs and started swinging. We had no choice to throw him a beating, but I still felt bad about the condition we left him in. Watched the papers for a week looking for as death notice.

7:53 AM  

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