small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: a very special sweatin the small stuff

Friday, August 12

a very special sweatin the small stuff

From the “cheerleaders=spirit fingers=weird old scrak with too many cats” department….

Comes a story about cheerleaders where it seems that groups of the little cocksockets were up at a local resort having what the athletically bulimic call spirit camp. After a rousing morning session of “jazz hands”, “spirit fingers” long slow splits and other such cheerleaderious shit, the little muffys went to lunch.

After consuming a fine lunch consisting of turkey sandwiches and potato salad, one by one the finely toned group of exhibitionist proceeded to get sicker then a muthafucker. So sick in fact that nineteen of em had to go to the hospital where two of them still remain. My many inside sources tell me that at first everyone thought that the shit was food poisoning but after much testing that theory has been thrown the fuck out. And at the time of this writing the case of the puking cheerleaders still remains a mystery.

But in a blinding blaze of coherent thought, my many inside sources suspect Al Qaeda and the insidious Osama Bin Laden as the culprits. What better way to undermine the spirit of America then by going after something that every American male holds dear. Not mom or her apple pie, not the good ole U.S of A, but bountiful breasted, limber, bouncy, baby got back, American cheerleaders.

Young women whose sole purpose in life besides mashing uglies like the little horny minks they are, is to entertain drunken American men at football games. Oh the horror of it all. Remember, you heard it here first about ev-il raising its ugly head in the heartland. And on an ending note the hotel where they all got sick has no comment but seems to be digging my theory.

And now from “that’s some fuck up shit” department…………….

Comes the story of a fourteen year old girl who died during a stunt gone awry at her high school cheerleading practice……………
the many inside sources have decided that the above subject is to sad for even this site to mock. So we’re replacing it with some jokes……..
…Two guys are looking a dog lick its balls and one says “Man, I wish I could do that.” The other guy says, “Really? You might want to pet the muthafucker first.”….

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mother

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving

Thank you, thank you, we’re here all week. Please try the fish.

And lastly from the “can a muthafucker get serious for a moment” department……..

Comes a short talk about how racism is one sneaky bastard; it slides and winds its way into our everyday lives under our very noses. And you know why, because as each generation matures and grows they tend to forget the crimes and issues of the past. People tend to become lackadaisical about racism and that’s when racism is at its most dangerous.

Years ago when it was of the “in your face” variety, the kind that frightened the fucking shit out of our mother’s and father’s because the memory of hooded thug’s hanging and assaulting their parents still ran fresh thru their minds. They knew and were fully aware of the horrors and fears of racism because they had to deal with it on a daily basis. It infused every aspect of their social lives. They knew the fight and they knew the enemies cause the enemy kept its face out in the open mocking those whom it hated.

It mattered not if it was the Klan or the American Nazis or our own Federal government, they all had their own agenda’s and justification for hating. But now racism is learning to crawl thru the back door. The up front and in your face racism of our parents and grandparents have exchanged hoods and jackboots for tailored suits and Air Jordan’s. The new racism thinks its “cool” and getting one over when they open up a sportsmen’s store and fill it from wall to wall with all kinds of “cool” swag.

But off in one corner sits a shooting display featuring an African Village scene where little blue eyed Tommy from the burbs wearing his FUBU jeans and pumping Fifty Cents on his mp3 player can shoot at targets till his hearts content. And does it matter that some of the targets happen to have black features? I know what some of you are saying, hey, it’s just a big game. Not harming anyone right? Well, that’s where you’re wrong; it’s harming my sanity that a business would promote this kind of racist shit that was growing passé a generation ago.

But you still got people saying what’s the harm? The fuckin harm is that you got fuckin kids shooting guns at fuckin black folk and people are telling em its fuckin ok! This is the kind of shit you read in the paper and you go “what the fuck? This can’t be right? This is the fuckin twenty-first century, people don’t do shit like this.

Then the next fuckin day you see in the paper where stores had to pull an entire clothing line because some racist bastard was able to sneak in some old fashioned Nazi symbolism onto all the fuckin clothing. And the bad thing about that is when the dumb muthafuckin store buyer first saw the design they probably thought how “cool” it looked, while racism grinned and shut the back door behind him as he waltzed on in.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Nightmare said...

Once agian I'm loving it and playing catch up!

Your Pops = Bad Mother Fucker!
VAns = WAY COOL! had a 76 ford econoline....Smooth baby.

keep spinning the goods!

7:50 AM  
Blogger Arathorn said...

Allright Gregg,I wanna have a dialog about racism.........When I was in Viet Nam the troop was not racist for the most part we were all cannon fodder. When I worked in the coal mines there was no racism. Of course there is a certain number of people who are racist only because it is their nature to be hatefull spitefull motherfuckers.There are a small number who are racist because of their upbringing. For the most part, all of our ancestors had a less than desirable arrival in America. The black man had slavery to cope with,and that is your experience. My ancestors came here penny less because someone told them there was work here and there was BUT it was in the coal mines and that is my experience. It was dangerous and dirty and backbreaking. They were paid for their labors but they were paid in script not us dollars and the script would only spend in the company store and if you wanted to work, you lived in the company house. On payday they deducted from your pay your rent, your grocerie bill, your compny store bill, your tool bill, your dynamite and fuse bill, and if the boss didn`t like you he would take your little brass check off the wagon of coal you dug and put it on someone elses wagon so you worked all day for nothing. When my ancestors struggled to do better for themselves, the men went into the mines to work, the company goons gathered up the women and children and took them out and shot them It happened, look it up it is called the Ludlowe Minning Disaster.It happened it really did. Not very much different than your ancestors experiences is it? So when you look at it, our people had it about the same. Now lets take this one more step please. If we dwell on what happened those hundred plus years ago who is it gonna serve? No one. It will only make it a sore spot for eveyone. Now I know your Mom told you "if you pick it it will never heal " and isn`t that what we are doing? picking it? Why is it okay to have FUBU clothing line.FUBU means for us by us. It `s very name implies that it was made by a racist company to be worn only by a "special " group of people. There is BET Black Entertaiment television. Why can we except that but not except wet white entertainment television? shouldn`t it just be tv? It is ok to have black pride but not ok to have white pride.We have designated Feb. as black history month but we have no white history month or japanese history month or Isreali history month. We only have very simply, history As long as we point up the differences regardless of who is pointing it up, aren`t we just promoting racism into the next generation? Can`t we just be Gods children all embued with certain rights given by God.Just be equal, just be the same, be a man or a woman?

9:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You sound like your mother complaining about violence in video games. It's OK by me if FUBU-wearin Tommy's killing black enemies in his game. He's also slaughtering white enemies, Asians, Russians, North Koreans, and women too. They are killing women in these games aren't they? I know they have women killing men. You should be honored that black people are included in the ranks of enemies being stabbed, shot, bludgeoned, blown up, and generally ripped to shreds in video games.

Now if Tommy starts killing ONLY the black enemies, or kills the black ones first, then I'd have to agree. Tommy's done a bad bad thing.

Death is getting older when his thoughts and his mother's thoughts coincide. I'm wondering if Death and his mother agree on the relative merits of including explicit sex in these games. I doubt it. K Sose

9:55 AM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Cheerleaders make the world go round.

4:41 PM  
Anonymous RD said...

Today's racism is worse than sneaky, it's quiet. It's a wink and a smile, it's a quick slur offered up among those who share similar inadequacies - like arathorn there. I truly think it's on the run. But humans are incredibly weak minded, and we'll always have to be wacked with a newspaper from time to time. And who would our black enemies be these days. Yeah right! Keep fuck'n with 'em Greg.

6:48 AM  
Blogger Bane said...

Oh bosh. I'd kill all the white people first, and I'm a honkey. White people are scarcer in that game.

But then again, the targets at the range are all black...hmmmmm...


I sense a conspiracy, here.

7:15 PM  

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