small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: doing the breast stroke in a sea of stupidity

Tuesday, August 9

doing the breast stroke in a sea of stupidity

One of the truest swear-to-god I know that’s right quotes of the week.
“life is tough, but it’s tougher when you’re stupid”

John Wayne

Funny sign on the side of a farm building on I-70 read, “Live Nude Bait”. I needed a chuckle after spending a couple of hour’s driving amongst the living dead on I-70. Freeway driving is pure proof that witless assholes run in packs. If one dickless pillow screamer drives one way then you got ten other cocksuckers doing the same shit. And don’t let me start in on the little cock-puppets driving to and fro. I’m fixin to pass this cat in front of me and I wait for the chick in my left lane to pass. As soon as she does I hit my blinker and pull over only to slam on the brakes cause these two fuckwhats decide to have a conversation with each other at sixty fuckin miles an fuckin hour!

This little cumguzzler has reached over and rolled her passenger window down and is talking to him thru his window. I got so pissed I almost opened the van door and stepped out. If that ain’t the stupidest shit then I don’t know what the fuck is. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Whew, got a little lightheaded there. But besides driving amongst the infirm it was cool seeing all the biker’s headed up north to Sturgis for the bike run. That’s a long assed ride to be on two wheels, but it looks like a shit load of fun.

I’ve always dug bikers, if they like you they treat you like family but if they don’t then you’re fucked. The only downside I’ve found to hanging with em is that you’d better be prepared to play, cause when they play they play rough. I used to hang with some biker chicks back in the day. One of em had the greatest gimmick; she would pour hot wax on her tits then set her nipples on fire then windmill the whole tittielicious mess. If memory serves me correct, that’s the same bunch I was with when I learned how wrong shit can go when you do flaming shots of 101 with a full beard. Yeah, you know what happened. Live and learn baby! Good times, good times.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Rusty said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has seen the "nude bait" sign out on I-70.

4:39 PM  
Blogger Arathorn said...

My God you are one funny motherfucker. I must say you make it easier with your humor to keep on keepin on......thanks.

9:12 AM  
Anonymous Justin said...

did you just say tittielicious?

11:54 AM  

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