blast from the past.....camel toe

So the other day instead of going into the office, I headed to the west bottoms to one of the Man’s warehouses. I was driving thru the bottoms, and as some of you that live around here can attest too, it ain’t what you call the trendiest area to be hanging out in. So like there I am sitting at this red light waiting on traffic to move cause shit was being slowed down by this hooker working the red light.

Now I’m not a discerning man, but as I looked at this hooker all I could think was who or what would want to fuck this chick or much less pay for it? Now I’m a firm believer that every woman has the ability to be attractive, the ability to use her femininity in her favor, the ability to attract the opposite sex. But as I looked at this chick all that came to my mind was “why”?

And let me be truthful, there’s been times when all I needed was a body, if she was sitting at room temperature that was all the better. Dare say I’ve been with a few women that’ll make a normal man think twice? But that’s not what’s important now. I wouldn’t (and I can’t believe I’m gonna say this) touch this chick with your tongue.

Remember the cafeteria lady that served you lunch when you were a kid? Short, with a frame like a mule, and had the obligatory hairy mole on her upper lip? Well, take that chick and stick her ass into some spandex shorts and a halter top stuffed full of grandma tittles, got that mental picture? Now picture that picture walking up to your car at seven-thirty in the fuckin AM asking your ass if you want a date. My dick retracted so quick it was turtleling out’a my asshole. Word.

My god, if for nothing else the huge camel toe squished up against my window staring at me would’a been enough, but as I pulled “quickly” away I just knew that somebody was gonna slip her a ten spot and do the deed. And to make it worse, you muthafucker’s gots to know that the stinkin river was only a few hundred feet away and that they were gonna fuck on the stinkin river bank? I’m just saying is all.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"