small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: don't put that in your mouth

Wednesday, January 24

don't put that in your mouth


Another commercial that really bugs the fuck out of me due to its rampant irresponsibility is the credit card commercial with the scissors. You know the commercials where in one you have what seems to be thousand of these dancing scissors cavorting thru the streets while people throw em their credit cards.

Yeah, I know, I was shocked too. There has to be thousands of these fuckin scissors dancing around people’s feet and shit snapping up credit cards that these clueless muthafuckers are throwing to them. Am I the only one to see the dangers here? Fuck running with scissors, here the scissors are not only running but jumping up and down in their insatiable efforts to eat the credit cards.

And what happens when the cards run out? Do they go after your shoes or clothing or the living flesh off your bones? Do these little stabbie muthafuckers start on little Timmy over on the next block?

Then just when you think it’s safe to go back in the water the next commercial shows the muthafuckin scissors swimming. What’s next, scissors flying up thirty-thousand feet to meet the airliner your on?

"and the monkey flipped the switch"

2 Comments:

Blogger Well Hell Michelle said...

Flesh eating zombie scissors... I never liked them much.

9:40 AM  
Blogger Matty said...

Muthafuckin' scissors on a muthafuckin' plane.

2:22 AM  

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