small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: grandma, what big hands you have

Monday, January 8

grandma, what big hands you have

One of these days men are gonna learn that when you fuck with the bull you get the horns, or never date a chick with bigger hands then yours. I mean we know it’s a common fact that guys are gonna fuck around on their girlfriends. People fall in love and people fall out of love and people always think the grass or ass on the other side of the pasture is tastier.

But this story will make a muthafucker go “goddamn, that ain't right”. According to my many inside sources, the police were called to the home of this cat for what sounded like your basic domestic squabble. But when the cops got there what they ran into was described as kind’a fucked up and disturbing.

We’re talking babbling drunk people, blood everywhere, and some really pissed off drunk chick with really big hands. Oh, and let’s not forget the screaming drunk cat running thru the house slinging blood everywhere with half his junk ripped off.

Yeah, let this be a lesson to you. Never, never, never, let the fucked up ex-girlfriend into the house when you got the new girlfriend over for a visit, especially when the ex-girlfriend is drunk, kind of bulky and out for blood. Because this crazy bitch just might get shit in her head to fuck you up by ripping your dick off using only her bare hands.

According to my many inside sources, ole Sheena the she-warrior got into an argument with the new girlfriend and after clocking her went after her old boyfriend and tried her damndest to cut his manly bits off using only her bare hands. Now I’m just trying to understand how fuckin angry this chick had to be to where instead of getting a knife from the kitchen, she just jumped in all bare handed and shit and decided to take his shit clean off his body.

That’s some pissed off crazy chick cat in the pot shit. Ole crazy bitch will appear in court later this week on four charges of malicious castration, assault causing serious bodily injury, malicious conduct by a prisoner which I think means that she showed her ass in lockup and injury to personal property.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger PGP said...

Ok! Let's get this straight!!

"Malicious" castration!

LIKE there is such a thing as "Benign" castration!!!???

Seems that ripping someones 'nads of goes a little beyond malicious anyway....

12:19 PM  
Blogger Sapphire said...

Does fingers longer than mine count. Let's not forget the nails some of those chicks have. Now I hear thier are razor sharp nail extentions like the lee press on nails that are held on by industrial strenght super glue. I would hate to be out late at night walking home from a night of bar fun and end up getting attacked by a crazy woman with nail swords...."Whoa! nice horns fuck it I'm running"...Now if it were a male wanting to mess me up, I got a set of my own horns and they are bigger than yours!...Now where did I put my chain mail boxers and my titatium chastity belt....LOL....Evermore

1:51 PM  
Anonymous Mark said...

Yet another reason to stick with blowup sex dolls.

6:49 AM  

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