small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: hits keep on coming

Thursday, February 8

hits keep on coming

I don’t give a shit what they say, but late at night when all the good people are sound asleep dreaming of lollipops and puppies and shit. Bloggers are sitting in front of their computers conducting a deep analysis of the day’s site hits.

We’re looking at our site meters checking how many hits we’ve gotten that day and what the peek times were and then we backtrack the hits to see who you are and wither you had something good or bad to say about us. We check to see what provider you’re using and what country or city you’re living in.

Then we’ll check out the site meters of other blogs to see how many hits their getting. That is if they haven’t locked their meters out. This is what we do late at night because we all want hits, we want people to read our blogs and we really want you to like us. So in regard to all this, I’ve actually hit on a plan where I can increase my daily hits tenfold.

At first I was gonna follow the lead of all the young Hollywood starlets and show my panty hamster in public. You know, my chuff, my quim, my monkey's chin, my vagina, the ole catcher’s mitt. But of course since I don’t have one that would be hard to pull off… pun intended.

So then it came to me in a dream what to do in my quest for more hits. Paris did it, Pammie did it, so I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna release my sex tape. I’m sorry, I meant leak my sex tape to the internet.

I know if I dug thru my crap long enough I should be able to find a tape of me having sex with something other then myself. And once I do I’ll stage a break-in and claim the tape got stolen. Then I’ll just sit back and wait for the hits to come as the tape is released on the internet.

Muthafuckers will flock like slapped bitches to this blog once the tape is out. Of course I’ll play the blonde in peril and scream righteous indignation and all that pious shit. But I think I’ve hit on a good plan.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Xavier Onassis said...

"I should be able to find a tape of me having sex with something other then myself"

See, it doesn't even occur to me to suggest that perhaps this was a typo and you meant "someone" instead of "something".

You are a man who chooses his words carefully.

So I am scared.

Very scared.

6:33 PM  
Blogger Sapphire said...

On the third day god said let thier be light and it was good......then we all went blind. LOL I can't say much I have a few pics of myself semi naked on myspace but That's as far as I'm going. More power too you. Let the sun shine. Dreams Do Come True.

Your not the only one scared......It can't be any worse than what's on the internet now.......Let me get this straight So showing off your nekedness on the net will get you hit's....."looks at his own hit's" ..Hmmmmmm! NOT....It's all yours...."burns all his self made porn tapes"....Like I have any....."rolls his eye's"......Thier goes the budwiser quick lizard and the toung of godzilla...........LOL............Evermore

10:06 PM  

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