small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: confused? you decide

Tuesday, June 5

confused? you decide

I’m leaving work yesterday afternoon and as I exit my building’s parking lot onto busy Ward Parkway I sense something to my left.

I turn my head to take a look and there I am face to face with a fuckin deer. A chick deer to be exact just standing there in the grassy median strip checking out all the cars and shit.

I quickly deduced that it was a chick deer due to the fact that it wasn’t sporting the antlers which is something I learned care of the animal channel.

It’s amazing how the human mind reacts to odd things like that.

I turn my head and see the deer less then ten feet from my window and it’s like “huh, a chick deer, how you doing”? Then it switches to “a deer, what the fuck is a fuckin deer doing the fuck around here and should I do something about it”?

I was curious as to how it made its way to ninety-second and Ward Parkway and what was it’s immediate plans?

Was it gonna bolt into traffic and fuck somebody’s shit up, or did it just plan on setting up camp and hanging out for a few?

Maybe it was one of those suicidal deer and was just waiting on the right opportunity to off itself. I couldn’t by looking at it’s face because it’s a deer after all, and I think they only work the one look.

But I felt that I had to do something and since getting out of the car and running it to ground was out of the fuckin question, I called 911 and told em that they better come arrest this lost muthafucker.

Funny thing though, all night long in bed I had dreams about fighting bears.
Stupid chick deer.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Nightmare said...

But dem chick deers is good eatin!

8:15 AM  
Blogger satyavati said...

What did the 911 people say? Did they come get it?

In a weird situation like that the deer could even have been sick.

8:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yea, bambies momma forgot her turnoff. but wtf with the picture??????!!!!
- so laughs the sister

9:40 AM  
Anonymous Keith Sader said...

Male deer don't have antlers at this time of year, so it could have been male or female.

2:57 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

Greg, I'm poaching the pic with all due credit. I laughed out loud when I saw the deer.

12:11 AM  
Blogger Sapphire said...

I seen a deer in hyde park last night. That could have been the same deer you saw. Let me get this strait. You afraid of going into the woods. Your afraid of zombies. But your all cool with a deer staring you in the eye in the middle of west port. I came upon an elk in colorado a few years back and I just froze and backed away slowly then after a few min I decided to see how close I could get to it..About 20 feet then my moms dog scares it away. Those elk are bigger than horses....Evermore

12:45 PM  

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