confused? you decide

I’m leaving work yesterday afternoon and as I exit my building’s parking lot onto busy Ward Parkway I sense something to my left.

I turn my head to take a look and there I am face to face with a fuckin deer. A chick deer to be exact just standing there in the grassy median strip checking out all the cars and shit.

I quickly deduced that it was a chick deer due to the fact that it wasn’t sporting the antlers which is something I learned care of the animal channel.

It’s amazing how the human mind reacts to odd things like that.

I turn my head and see the deer less then ten feet from my window and it’s like “huh, a chick deer, how you doing”? Then it switches to “a deer, what the fuck is a fuckin deer doing the fuck around here and should I do something about it”?

I was curious as to how it made its way to ninety-second and Ward Parkway and what was it’s immediate plans?

Was it gonna bolt into traffic and fuck somebody’s shit up, or did it just plan on setting up camp and hanging out for a few?

Maybe it was one of those suicidal deer and was just waiting on the right opportunity to off itself. I couldn’t by looking at it’s face because it’s a deer after all, and I think they only work the one look.

But I felt that I had to do something and since getting out of the car and running it to ground was out of the fuckin question, I called 911 and told em that they better come arrest this lost muthafucker.

Funny thing though, all night long in bed I had dreams about fighting bears.
Stupid chick deer.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"