packing meat

You kind’a know that god hates you when you work at a meat processing plant in a really rough neighborhood in Mexico City.

Yeah, it’s bad enough that you have to negotiate the maze of bullshit just to get to your job, but once there your boss tells you to get your old ass up to the roof.

And why?

To feed the tiger and lion that this muthafucker keeps in cages on the roof as fuckin pets.

So there you are in the hot Mexican sun flipping pieces of chicken to these two big assed muthafuckers which is nothing but pure crazy because everyone knows that you don’t feed fuckin chicken to pets because they might choke on the bones.

And lo and behold what happens?

The tiger and lion come to the conclusion that they’re not down with your old chicken flinging ass and simply wait till you get close and snatch you like you owe em money.

The policia gets called along with the paramedics but they can’t get past the animals that by now are well on their way to shitting you out.

And trust me, the irony of being eaten by tigers and lions at the “meat packing plant” you work at ain’t lost on anyone.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"