small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: rollin

Thursday, June 7


I had planned to write about something deep and meaningful but truthfully when it comes to certain shit I’m like a fat retard wearing a Batman cap chasing an ice cream truck.

So why try to fight it, which brings me to this story sent to me by some of my many inside sources, which has to rank as the feel good story of the week.

Somehow this cat in one of those powered wheelchairs was coming out of a local “gas & rob” and got the handles of his chair stuck in the grill of a moving semi trailer truck.

You can almost see this one coming right?

From what my many inside sources tell me, the cat was crossing in front of a moving semi and didn't quite make it. The next thing he knows he’s flying down the road at fifty miles an hour, stuck to the grill of the truck like he’s some kind of moth and shit.

Can you imagine being the muthafucker driving down the road only to see some cat in a wheelchair with the really fucked up “Jane, get me out of this crazy thing” look on his face coming up in his rear view mirror?

And you know somebody called the cops and reported a man in a wheelchair being chased by a semi passing cars on the highway. “Yeah, he just rolled past me doing at least sixty!”

Anyway this lasted for the good part of four miles until the truck driver pulled into the parking lot of his trucking company.

Cops roll in from all directions and of course the truck driver is completely unaware of what’s going on until he hops out of the cab and see’s what the big fuss is all about.

Which is the guy sitting in the wheelchair which is still attached to the grill of his rig.

According to my many inside sources, the cat in the wheelchair came through it all unharmed and was actually pretty calm about the whole deal telling cops that with the exception of spilling his coke, it was quite a ride. No word on if he did it again.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger PGP said...

Did he "spell" it correctly?
Snicker.... ;)

11:16 AM  
Anonymous Keith Sader said...

What's really amazing is that his wheelchair wheel bearings held up during that ride.

2:51 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

Two things:

1. I bet that the wheelchair company eventually uses this in a commercial.

2. I was walking past the TV this morning and for one split second mistook T D Jakes for you. I very nearly hit the floor.

5:21 PM  
Blogger Xavier Onassis said...

They must have well maintained highways.

I shudder to think what effect even the smallest pothole would have had on how this story ended.

6:25 PM  
Blogger Spyder said...

Man, did you hear the 911 calls?

11:15 AM  
Blogger Assrot said...

Being a retard in a Batman hat does have its advantages. When you're too stupid to be scared, life has got to be a lot of fun.

6:43 PM  

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