small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: This will be an ongoing list of people who I think need a running kick in the junk.

Thursday, June 7

This will be an ongoing list of people who I think need a running kick in the junk.

  • The Burger King guy needs to be kicked in the junk simply because he creeps me out. Plus I wonder if he’s really a man at all because in all fairness he could be a tranny or hermaphrodite under that mask for all I know. If that’s the case once he or she falls, drop an elbow into his or her nether regions for good measure.

  • Weather people on the TV who cry danger, danger more the stupid robot from Lost in Space need a good kick in the nutsack or cock socket.

  • All those muthafuckers who come up with all these non-violent, you’re ok, I’m ok, rainbow bright, freak mascot having, daytime kiddie shows, all need a running kick to the junk. You’re one of the reasons we’re raising a nation of mindless pussies. If I see one more rapping blue bear I’m gonna go Tony Soprano on someone.

  • The Spanish Language Channel needs a kick to the junk. Why don’t you bastards close caption this shit? Do you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe I might want to know what the fuck is going on? Heartless fucks.

  • Paris Hilton needs to be super kicked in her crab hole. I’ll give you a nervous breakdown you trench holed slut. Then again her pussy has had more hands in it then the practice dummy at the gynecologist collage, so kicking her might make me lose my shoe.

  • The Planters Peanut guy needs his balls pushed in. What, he’s too good to talk? Actually if you must know the truth I can’t stomach that swarmy look on his face. And who the fuck wears a monocle anymore?

• The people who have all those dating commercials on TV need a good slap to the junk. What ever happened to meeting someone the old fashioned way, drunk in a dark bar?

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Irreverent Antisocial Intellectual said...

A-fucking-men! That BK guy completely creeps out my shit.
But I disagree on the spanish channels - I watch them and laugh b/c I understand what they're talking about but my husband (who no-o speak-o the spanish-o) would rather watch 'em all on mute anyway! It has its advantages ...

5:51 AM  
Blogger Logtar said...

Some shows ARE caption in English on CC3.

An you can always just learn Spanish, si señor.

9:18 AM  
Blogger Spyder said...

If I ate burgers the BK guy would scare me off.

11:14 AM  
Blogger satyavati said...

Look, I hope you're not talking about SpongeBob SquarePants. I watch this show AT LEAST four times a day these days and I absolutely adore it.

So there.

(It beats watching Fox News.)

6:28 PM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

I agree...and those were funny.

10:40 PM  
Anonymous karen said...

I'm secretly in love with The King. But I'm right there with you on the Planter's Peanut dude. What's with the monocle anyway? Why would a peanut need to see better? It doesn't make sense.

12:07 PM  

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