small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: tour de France

Thursday, July 26

tour de France

I don’t know about you muthafuckers, but when I was a kid in school we generally kept our shit pretty much to the nines.

But when our regular teacher got sick or some such shit and they gave us a substitute we turned into some ass showing hedonistic little fucks. Sleeping in class, talking, anal sex, double fisting, it was all wide open because the regular teacher wasn’t there to keep our dumb little asses in check.

And that’s how I see what’s happening now in the Tour de France this year.

While the toughest man in sports Lance Armstrong was onboard muthafuckers almost took it for granted that the best they could do was second place.

But now that Lance has retired muthafuckers have absolutely lost their fuckin minds now that the playing field has evened and they think they have a chance of winning.

Cyclists are being yanked left and right for doping or missing drug tests.

I’m just saying that shits gotten so bad that the vice president of the World Anti-Doping Agency is suggesting that the sport should be yanked from the Olympics.

German public broadcasters have stopped airing the race, and one of Switzerland's biggest newspapers stopped writing about it. And some international papers are limiting their Tour de France coverage to nothing but doping stories.

Personally I’m surprised that with Lance out of the way, muthafuckers aren’t riding with needles sticking out of their asses.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


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