beat it

In honor of the American justice system and all that good shit, here’s every Michael Jackson joke I’ve heard so far today.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
One was the first man to walk on the moon. The other likes to fuck little boys.

Michael Jackson was in the delivery room with his wife, waiting for his son to be born. When the baby finally popped out into the world, Michael stared his wife in the eyes and asked, "Doc, how long before we'll be able to have sex?"
The doctor replied, "Ooooooh, I'd wait till he's at least twelve."

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite thing about twenty-four-year-olds?
There are twenty of them

Why did Michael Jackson go to K-Mart?
Boys pants were half off.

Where did Michael Jackson go to college?
Brigham Young.

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?
They both come on little crackers.

The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest.

What will they call Michael's new TV series?
Anus and Andy.

Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.

Who's Michael Jackson's favorite poet?
Emily Dickinson.

Did you hear about the duet by Michael Jackson and Elton John?
It is titled "Don't let your sun go down on me."

What do Michael and Gaylord Perry have in common?
Both have held lots of wet balls in their hands.

How will they ensure that Michael gets a thorough body search?
Hire a Catholic priest to do it.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"