hand jive

things tend to get mussed up after a rigorous round
of “rock, paper, scissors


Second best “rock, paper, scissors” quote heard lately.

“Everybody knows you always start with scissors”

This from little Alice Maclean age eleven advising her father, a fine-art specialist at Christie’s Auction House on the winning “rock, paper, scissors” strategy that enabled him to best this Japanese businessman who wanted to use the game to decide wither Christies or Sotheby’s would get to auction his firm’s twenty-million dollar art collection.

“I accidentally said yes”

The best “rock, paper, scissors” came from a friend I’m too embarrassed to name, who when I asked how do you “accidentally say yes to something? Told me how she was at the Hurricane the other night when she got into a conversation with this stranger who was trying to talk her into going with him to a strip club. Thinking she was slick and could win, she let a game of “rock, paper, scissors” decide wither she would go with the stranger. Little piece of spooge lost and instead of saying fuck off, hopped into a cab and went with the stranger to a strip club.

I love my friends, I really really do, but sometimes they need a good ole fashioned “come to jesus” talk and a smack to the back of the head. And who fuckin knew that all these years I’ve been going at shit the wrong way when it came to picking up chicks. After all these years I find that something as easy as a simple fuckin game of “rock, paper, scissors” could’a got me laid. I could’a saved so much money and time.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"