yeah I said pig pussy

This year according to my many inside sources, nine states including Arizona, Connecticut, Delaware, New Jersey, Washington, Maryland, New York, Oregon, California and Tennessee have considered legislation specifically banning driving while texting, or DWT.

Washington became the first state to pass a law, which takes effect in January, making DWT a crime with a $101 fine.

According to the pig pussy Democratic and Republican legislators across the country, enough is enough.

What with shit being bad enough that muthafuckers eat, drink, back-hand the stinkin assed kids, put on the fuckin makeup, shave their snatches, watch porn, clean out the stinkin toe jam, and talk on the fuckin cell phones?

But now with the advent of texting, legislators are saying that multitasking whilst driving has gone too fuckin far and they’re not gonna fuckin take it any more.

So the push is on to put a stop to all this multitasking bullshit which I so don’t have a problem with. Because honestly, when I see someone in the car next to me texting or talking on their phone, I tend to get out of the way.

And most of my close friends know that I’m not down with talking and driving and will terminate the call if I know they’re in the fuckin car whilst calling me.

You know that most people have the misconception that their personal driving skills are better then everyone else’s. But in reality most people drive like shit and here’s a simple test to showcase my point.

As you’re driving down the road attempt to look at something to your extreme left. I bet I can guess what happened next. You found yourself drifting into the adjoining lane didn’t you?

Don’t feel too asinine, it’s hard not to do because it’s the inclination of the car to steer where you’re looking.

Plus on top of that a lot of you muthafuckers drive too goddamned close and how you gonna stop from getting all up in somebody’s ass end when you’re busy tapping out text messages and shit?

I’m just saying that this legislation might be a good thing because not withstanding that’s its hard enough watching out for regular shit you have all this other crap to deal with.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"